I've been married for 14 yrs.I've been with him for 17 yrs.I've always felt portray by my husb.My MIL and SIL all together know how to manipulat son and brother.My husb has always felt he had to obligate his self to<BR>his mom.I guess he feels a bit responsible<BR>for his small brother dying.His mother <BR>has enterfered with our marriage.She has<BR>thought her own daughters how to be pathetic<BR>lyers as well as manipulat any thing they<BR>see, or someone may be doing.The whole family fights with one another.They will<BR>insult anyone, they feel defended by. Even<BR>ther own brother.They call on my husb there<BR>brother to do everything.Even though he<BR>knows they insult and portray him like a dog.He knows they resent me for being a<BR>very good wife,and mother to our children.<BR>That there brother worships the ground I walk<BR>on.Except for when it comes to defending me<BR>against them.He acts as he has no back bone<BR>to stand up to them.They will do something<BR>so passive to make him think they were standing up for him.When my husb has friends<BR>come over to our home.His family will say <BR>things like she is ******* him.Thats why <BR>his friends like to hang out at our house.His family I mean his mom and sisters, have called HRS saying I was <BR>neglecting my child.The worker that <BR>came out to see me,said I need to get away <BR>from his family as far as I can,they were<BR>sick in the head and theres no telling what eles,they may do or try. I was being,<BR>followed by his mom when I went <BR>to work.1 year later she called my husb<BR>up 2days after our Anniversary to tell him <BR>I was screwing this worthless guy.The mom<BR>said to my 6 year old to lye, that it was okay to say mommie was with another man.<BR>My child was crying and I laid into his mom.<BR>I have never disrespected her,But this time<BR>I told her off.I could have took the whole <BR>world on,trying to manipulate my child<BR>into lying.I later found out his sister was in on this crap to.<BR>My husband said don't worry You<BR>know it's not true.Well how much can I take,<BR>from this psychotic family.My husb says just<BR>don't tlk to them.Well I don't inless he has<BR>me going to a so called family function.Witch<BR>I have played sick to stay away frm them.His<BR>mom is dying now with cancer and has since<BR>Applogized to me.I can't belive it.My SIL she has already started manipulating lyes <BR>about me and has turned on her own mom.My husband says there all jealous of me,and that there husbands are lazzy and thats why<BR>they call on mine,to do everything.I'm sorry<BR>but I need some help with getting it across<BR>to my husb,that he needs to stand up for me <BR>and his children with the family he comes frm.I have been tring for now 17 yrs. What<BR>can I do? I love him and would never want<BR>to hurt him,But im a person to.My kids cann't<BR>grow up to this.My kids are loaned frm GOD and I must be there teacher,To keep them away frm people like this.If I allow them <BR>to be around this kind of crap,then there<BR>going to think it's okay later in life.My<BR>neice has already begun to be just like them<BR>My family is nothing like his,they would never tlk bad about my hsb.But my family does not like the way I've been treated and<BR>my kids.My mom and dad has always said my hsb is in no way like the family he comes frm.But maybe it's becouse my hsb was brought up with alcoholic parents.That ended<BR>his parents in a divorce.His parents were<BR>always abusing him verbally and physiclly.<BR>This is only part of my story for 17 years of being married.But I feel like im married to his family.I feel like something has got <BR>to change.I thought that with his mother dying his sisters would change.His mother says she doesn't want any fighting. His sisters said mom's only wish is for us to get closer.His sister said I hope this dosen't pull the family apart.I see it like<BR>they have been so abusing to me and my husband that when his mom dyes,that my husband want feel obligated to his family any more.The said part about this is,Even <BR>though his mom did some rotten dirty things to me,I still forgive and I'm praying that <BR>she's right with the God. Good luck to all daughter in-laws out there.all I can do is pray for a better tomarrow.Thanks for listening,FL<P><BR>

Wow! Reading your post was like reading into my life now, only it hasn't been going on for 17 years. You said it all about my husband too. No backbone to his family. They manipulate lies to the grandchildren. They put thoughts in their head and make them believe things that aren't true. I told him last night, I feel like his mother is his ex-wife. I feel like we could really go somewhere in this life, but he's holding onto the rope to her and it keeps us held back. How in the world have you done this for 17 years? Ever want to leave your husband? What made you stay? Kids? I'll never get away from his family as long as we have our son Jacob. I love my husband very much even through all of this, but what about our future. I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm in a very similar boat. My prayer and relationship with God have helped enormously to hold me together. I have to keep believing he's got it. So hard to do though. His mother has not followed me, but I could see her doing it. It scares me. I told her off too once I had enough. I even put a post here several days ago. You may have read it. I just want to get on with my life. My husband has always been my best friend, now I don't even feel I can talk to him. He's like wounded or something. I didn't do anything to him. She did this to us and to him. Yes he was raised by alcoholics. Yes he has told me to just not talk to his family. What's so hard for me to understand is that I don't come from his battleground. My world is different. My parents are different. I love them tremendously, but I do not feel indebted to them like my husband feels to his mother. What's sad is that without his mother my husband could be so much more. She says horrible things about him, but depends on him for so much. Everyone depends on him to the point where it's hard for me to depend on him because they consume so much of his energy. All I can offer you is my prayers and that is something probably worth more than advice. I will pray for you and your family whole heartedly as I pray for mine.<BR>God Bless