It's all a mystery to me. Me and my husband are doing fine going about our lives together. We dated for 10 years before getting married. We get married, something he said he would never do. WE decide to have a child, something he sometimes said he didn't want. As soon as I get pregnant, he instantly does not want a baby. What can I do? I feel trapped. It took him 6 months to even smile about the idea. I have the baby, Jacob. He's beautiful, wonderful, and has much in store to teach us. My husband of all, has an even harder time once the baby is born, not to mention I've got a lot to adjust to also. Then 6 weeks later, he can't have sex, emotionally, physically, none of it. It takes him 4-5 months to get past just that part. In the meantime, my emotions are already fired up. Then here comes his mother. She's truly messed up. His mother and I have a fallout. She desires never to speak to me again. She is insulting to her son and has been known to put lies into her grandchildren's heads. She hasn't been quite the good mother. That's too much of a story that I already posted on anyway. My husband says he doesn't want to talk about it and he wants to forget about it and go on. Yet he seems to have this bitterness towards me about it. It's really hard to put it aside when he seems upset with me. I did nothing to her and he recognizes her doings with the matter. Also, says since Jacob he lost his best friend (me). Says it's so much responsibility. Says everything revolves around Jacob, but makes no effort to revolve things around us. He kisses me bye every morning, but seems to have lost any other intimacy towards me. He appears to be just going through the routines of life. I ask him if he thinks we are going to make it. He says time will heal everything. Says the issue with his mother is very touchy and he gets immediately mad the moment I bring anything about her up. I love him more than anything, and I love my child even more. The first thing I have been told by most is "Leave". But I took vows, don't they count? I'm just not sure I'm doing the right thing for our child. I can't fix my husbands feelings, I know. I just don't understand what is going on. Does anybody? Are we destined for failure? Should I bypass all the future hell to make my own future heaven? All I want is to be happy. It's very hard to be happy when you feel taken advantage of, unloved, uncared for, like just some necessity in life. I want to be wanted, not needed. Is there anybody out there that can relate? Please help!
