My husband and I separated this summer and were inches away from a divorce. I was very depressed during this time. Surfing the web, I came across the e-mail address of an old friend of mine, who lives in Germany. It was a little bit of sunshine in my gloomy life to hear how he was doing after so many years, and it brought back joyfull memories of a good time in my life. Now, when I knew him back in 1982, he had a girlfriend and they got married, so I knew them as a couple too. There was never any "interest" on either part. We were a big group of people that did things together back then.<P>In the interim, my friend is divorced and now is living with a woman who has children. They are coming to the US next summer and he wanted to stop by and visit us. His girlfriend speaks English and so do her kis, she was married to an American before, in fact, they are visiting her ex in laws.<P>In the meantime, my husband and I are back together and trying to make things work.<P>When I first asked him if he'd mind them visiting for a couple days, he said no, as long as it's just a couple days. 24 hours later, he changed his mind, and told me, "They are not allowed to come. It makes me uncomfortable when you speak German, and I don't like you having a "male" friend". And that was that. No further discussion. He also said, "And if you don't like it, you are a free woman and can leave anytime"!!!!<P>I would not invite a "single male" friend to come stay, this is a couple. Am I responsible that he has not learned any more German in the past 4 years besides "Guten Appetit". I am afraid to speak my mother language to my family, because it makes him uncomfortable. It's ironic, my father, who couldn't speak any German, met my mother in Germany, she couldn't speak any English, and they were able to work things out. My Grandmother couldn't speak English, and my father spent hours "talking to her with hands and feet". Never once did he tell my mother, "I'm uncomfortable because I do not speak your language". <P>I must also mention, during our separation, my husband met a "baseball" mom. Or so he referred to her. Whos name he wrote on our calendar at home, he wrote her birthday down on the calendar. Now, my husband has a difficult time remembering things I tell him, but for him to remember her birthday and write it on the calendar, must mean something. I was not living in the house during our separation. We were separated for 2 1/2 months. He wasted no time in "looking", while I wasn't even thinking of having someone else in my life.
