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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 9 |
My wife and I have come to an impass in our marriage where it seems like whatever we do we keep hurting eachother. It is a pattern that we can't seem to get out of. We have talked about ending the relationship because it would be easier than to keep living in this kind of misery.<BR> We have been dealing with this for a little more than a year. We have been to counseling, but it seemed to only bring up more questions that we could not seem to answer, instead of giving us the answers we had hoped for.<BR> We are looking for advice to give us any shred of hope to continue on. We have been married for 11 years. We lost touch with eachother about 6 or 7 years ago. We are having a hard time getting back in touch.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 24 |
Your situation sounds real simular to mine. How do you continue to hurt each other? In a typical day, how much time do you spend together and what do you do during that time? J
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3 |
I feel for you and your husband and being married for 11 years says alot. All marriages are worth saving but then some can't no matter what you do. To save your marriage you two are going to have to find things that you have in common and start working on that aspect of your marriage. You both have too much invested to just walk away so try doing something together. Try to think of the things that you used to do when you were happy for those first 6 years.<BR>Communication is the key to you two saving your marriage. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by perch:<BR><B>Your situation sounds real simular to mine. How do you continue to hurt each other? In a typical day, how much time do you spend together and what do you do during that time? J</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,063
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,063 |
The book Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch identifies how we seem to get stuck in negative responses to one another, how we know that a typical A statement is going to be given a typical B statement by our loved one. For the life of me I can't remember who said, if we continue to do things the same way, why do we expect things to be any different?<P>There is a lot of info on this site about how we can begin to do things differently. Welcome and feel free to start identifying where you each specifically get stuck, take the emotional needs questionaire and see where you each feel you are lacking from each other. <P>11 years is a long time to invest and then toss it away. Post often. The emotional needs forum usually has the most responses for feedback.
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