We have 3 kids and have been married 10 years. We don't even share a bed anymore. If it weren't for the kids this marriage would have been over a long time ago. I wish I felt the same feelings when we were married. I hate to say it but he grosses me out. We have occassional sex. Even then I don't like kissing him. I don't even like to hug him.We just go thru the motions of being a family. You know, taking the regular vacations, going to church, out to dinner without the kids. In fact, I have to drink a few glasses of wine just to enjoy his company. I feel trapped. We are a one income family. We have a huge mortgage. If we divorced, we would go broke. Our kids are 3, 6, and 8. I really feel for them. Because they would be affected the most. I grew up in a rocky household. When I was 4 and my sis was 1, my mother and dad split. My dad wouldn't let mom have us. So for a year I didn't have a mom. Then she came back and the same stuff happened over the next 30 years. Now they are divorced. So I know what bad marriages do to kids. I feel like we should end it and be done. Then the kids could get over it and adjust. Isn't it the fighting that is bad for the kids? If I could take a magic pill that would make me feel for him the way I did years ago, I would take 2.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I wish I felt the same feelings when we were married. I hate to say it but he grosses me out. We have occassional sex. Even then I don't like kissing him. I don't even like to hug him.We just go thru the motions of being a family. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I could have written that 18 months ago. Sounds like you are in a state of emotional withdrawal from each other. Have you read the "Concepts" section here? (Click on "Concepts" under the MB logo at top of the page).<P><BR>Then read this article: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8114_plan.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8114_plan.html</A> <P>You can work together to rebuild and end up with a really good marriage...<P>Good luck--<P>Kathi<P><BR>

I'm not sure why he grosses you out but you both could humble yourselves and seek God's answers for this. Is there someone else that you are seeing or tempted by? Often we come up with reasons to justify what we really want. I don't know. What would you like to see in him? Does he know what you want? Living with these feelings and not sharing them with him is living in a lie. I am sounding very judgmental. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be. Counseling? Seek resolution not withdrawl.