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#56279 03/01/01 05:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 1
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S Offline
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 1
I NEED HELP-I'VE NEVER SPENT SO MUCH TIME IN MY LIFE CRYING- <BR>I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST SIX YEARS-<BR>2 YEARS AGO MY HUSBAND DECIDED HE WANTED TO BE AN OVER THE ROAD TRUCK DRIVER. LEAVING ME HOME WITH OUR DAUGHTER- HE HAS LEFT EVERYTHING UP TO ME, THE CHILD RAISING, HOMECARE, VEHICLE CARE, AND ALL OUR FINANCIAL GUNK!! HE JUST PASSES THROUGH AND SINCE DEC. HE HAS BEEN HOME 6 DAYS.<BR>HE HAS STARTED THIS THING WHERE ANYTIME I CONFRONT HIM ON SOMETHING, HE HANGS UP, AND SHUTS OFF HIS CELL PHONE.<BR> WE ARE SEVERLY IN DEBIT-I WAS THE ONE WITH THE GOOD CREDIT WHEN WE GOT MARRIED AND SO LIKE A FOOL EVERYTHING IS IN MY NAME- WE ALWAYS SEEM TO BE BEHIND OR JUST MAKING IT-<BR>HE THINKS WHEN HE'S AWAY HE CAN DO WHAT EVER HE PLEASES- IF THERE IS NO WORK HE HANGS WITH FRIENDS ACROSS THE US- WE HAVE FOUGHT NUMEROUS TIMES ABOUT HIS DRINKING AND FAILING TO CALL HOME WHILE HE "OUT"<BR>SO BASICALLY I AM AT HOME HANDLING THE LOAD OF A SINGLE PARENT WHILE HE'S OUT LIVING THE LIFE OF A SINGLE PERSON-(I DO NOT BELIVE HE HAS CHEATED)<BR>I AM STRESSED TO THE MAX WITH THIS OVERLOAD ON ME-<BR>HE JUST LEFT YESTERDAY FOR NEW ZEALAND AND AUSTRALIA FOR 3 WEEKS- HE WENT WITH MY DAD WHO IS PAYING FOR EVERYTHING- I HAVE BEEN AGAINST THIS TRIP ALL ALONG- TO NO MATTER-<BR>I ASKED HIM IF HE COULD MAKE THE TRIP SHORTER (FOR A VERY SMALL FEE)BECAUSE WHEN HE'S NOT WORKING WE HAVE NO INCOME, NO VACATION TIME PAY OR ANYTHING- HE TOLD ME HE WOULD NOT CUT THE TRIP EARLY-<BR>SO BASICALLY FOR THIS TRIP WE ARE GOING TO ONCE AGAIN BE A MONTH BEHIND-(I SPEND MY DAYS CUTTING CORNERS AND STRUGGLING TO GET BY) AND EVERYTHING WE CAN'T PAY IS ALREADY TURNED IN TO A COLLECTION AGENCY-<BR>WHEN I WAS TALKING TO HIM YESTERDAY HE SAID HE WOULD CALL ME FROM THE AIRPORT SO WE COULD DISCUSS HIS EARLY RETURN- HE WAS AT THE AIRPORT 4 HOURS EARLY (MY DAD CALLED MY MOM) HE CALLED MY DAUGHTER AND I 10 MINUTES BEFFORE HE LEFT- WE MISSED THE PHONE- HE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR MY DAUGHTER ONLY- WE TRIED TO CALL HIM RIGHT BACK- HE SHUT THE CELL PHONE OFF- I WAS SO HURT AND ANGRY.I HAD ASKED HIS FRIEND TO HAVE HIM CALL WHEN HE GOT INTHEY HAVE BEEN THERE 10 HOURS AND NO WORD...I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO HIM-<BR>I SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT CRYING AND ALL TODAY- I AM EXHAUSTED-ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED-<BR>HE SAYS HE CARES- I BELIEVE HIM AND THEN I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT BECAUSE HE TREATS ME LIKE THAT-WHAT CAN I DO......

#56280 03/06/01 01:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 525
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 525
Just read your post. My husband also travels all the time and basically lives the life of a single person when not here. You say you feel he has not cheated but he may be meeting people who are filling needs you can't by 1-the distance and 2-being exhausted from all the responsibilities. I empathize. We have placed ourselves in a very precarious position by allowing our spouses this freedom. I now realize that H is probably having some EA's with women he meets. He loves the tingly feeling that he gets while being adored by someone new. This is causing major conflict in marriage right now! He like my husband acts very selfishly (ie going on trip regardless od financial hardship). Does your father know what this will do to you fianacially? Feel if he knew that he was acting irresponsibly as well.<P>I wish you luck. You may want to try posting on the Emotional needs forum as well. There are lots of great people there too.<P>I wish I could offer you more support/advice but since my situation is still unfolding I feel more needy than knowing.


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