Please do not think the worst of me from this post, I just need good advice;<BR>I feel stuck in my marriage, and while I am trying to make things right, I have an awful feeling that I cannot go along with this much longer.<BR>You see, my husband and myself were real partyers when we met, and , after having our baby, it just did not matter to me anymore, my child comes first.<BR>My husband loves our child, takes such good care of him, is always attentive and shows him love in every way.<BR>The problem? My husband drinks beer, a lot of it, and while it does not prevent him from getting up and going to work everyday, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with him drinking in our home when babysitting our child while I am at work. <BR>When I come home at night, our baby is always in bed, dry and with a bottle; I know he is always fed at supper as well, and although my husband states he never begins to drink before our child is settled, I cannot tell you what is is doing to me when I come home an average of four times a week to find a table full of beer cans , a mess in the living room , and my husband in an oblivious state, snoring away drunk as a skunk, rolling all over the bed, etc, etc;<BR>What is even worse than this? I know you will all get a big chuckle out of it, but it is more than I can take; He is becoming incontinent of urine, and most of the time when I crawl into bed exausted from working, the bed is soaked; I do $20.00 of laundry twice a week from soiled sheets, I usually have to pay it or it sits there, and it is just driving me absolutely crazy.<BR>Yes, I have asked him to not drink heavily when at home like this, because for the number one reason that I do not think our son should grow up to see his father downing beer after beer all the time; He has stated that he loves us, is a good father, works very hard, and is entitled to have a much deserved beer after the baby is taken care of;;<BR>I don't know what to do anymore; Our child is growing up. It just is not the thing to do all the time in my opinion,and I have recently found out he also enjoys a joing on occasion, and he admitted to me he has been doing this for twenty five years;<BR>If you take away these two factors that are destroying my sense of well-being, I can say he is the most wonderful man and husband on the planet, but he cannot let go of his beer;<BR>I guess what I need to know is, is he entitled to drink like this all the time when the baby is sleeping for the night, am I being too prudish, and, secondly, what ramifications does this have on a growing child?<BR>I am starting to feel more at peace with our child when he is away from the house for the evening, and I know that is a very bad sign;<BR>I just don't know what to do anymore; Should I consider a future without him, and protect my son from growing up in such an environment?<BR>Just to let you know, I have never had reason to believe our son was ever mistreated while under my husband's care, and our son eagerly displays affection to his father all the time.<BR>Please answer .

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MAXI_321:<BR><B>Please do not think the worst of me from this post, I just need good advice;<BR>I feel stuck in my marriage, and while I am trying to make things right, I have an awful feeling that I cannot go along with this much longer.<BR>You see, my husband and myself were real partyers when we met, and , after having our baby, it just did not matter to me anymore, my child comes first.<BR>My husband loves our child, takes such good care of him, is always attentive and shows him love in every way.<BR>The problem? My husband drinks beer, a lot of it, and while it does not prevent him from getting up and going to work everyday, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with him drinking in our home when babysitting our child while I am at work. <BR>When I come home at night, our baby is always in bed, dry and with a bottle; I know he is always fed at supper as well, and although my husband states he never begins to drink before our child is settled, I cannot tell you what is is doing to me when I come home an average of four times a week to find a table full of beer cans , a mess in the living room , and my husband in an oblivious state, snoring away drunk as a skunk, rolling all over the bed, etc, etc;<BR>What is even worse than this? I know you will all get a big chuckle out of it, but it is more than I can take; He is becoming incontinent of urine, and most of the time when I crawl into bed exausted from working, the bed is soaked; I do $20.00 of laundry twice a week from soiled sheets, I usually have to pay it or it sits there, and it is just driving me absolutely crazy.<BR>Yes, I have asked him to not drink heavily when at home like this, because for the number one reason that I do not think our son should grow up to see his father downing beer after beer all the time; He has stated that he loves us, is a good father, works very hard, and is entitled to have a much deserved beer after the baby is taken care of;;<BR>I don't know what to do anymore; Our child is growing up. It just is not the thing to do all the time in my opinion,and I have recently found out he also enjoys a joing on occasion, and he admitted to me he has been doing this for twenty five years;<BR>If you take away these two factors that are destroying my sense of well-being, I can say he is the most wonderful man and husband on the planet, but he cannot let go of his beer;<BR>I guess what I need to know is, is he entitled to drink like this all the time when the baby is sleeping for the night, am I being too prudish, and, secondly, what ramifications does this have on a growing child?<BR>I am starting to feel more at peace with our child when he is away from the house for the evening, and I know that is a very bad sign;<BR>I just don't know what to do anymore; Should I consider a future without him, and protect my son from growing up in such an environment?<BR>Just to let you know, I have never had reason to believe our son was ever mistreated while under my husband's care, and our son eagerly displays affection to his father all the time.<BR>Please answer .</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Dear Maxi,<BR> This is my first post, you caught my attention because I live with a drinker too. I read your profile,and I am also a nurse. Imagine that! While my situation is alittle different, I can relate to your situation. I think the most important thing you have to think about is, while your H is passed out after babys bedtime, what if there is a fire and he does'nt wake up until it's too late. You could never live with yourself, God forbid. Also, I know of people who have had their child taken from them when it was discovered that there was an adult passed out drunk, while the baby cried in the crib. If your baby is your life, you must think of him first!!! My heart goes out to you. Please e-mail me so we can talk more, there is too much to post here. Good luck!!!!!!!

Dear lady,<BR>Did it ever occur to you that your husband may be an alcoholic? Social drinkers don't drink until they pass out and urinate in the bed. There is a lot of hope for you and your husband. First of all, cut through the denial that he doesn't have a drinking problem - he does!<BR>And secondly, get help! There are a lot of resources out there for you and your family...Alanon (for people who live with or love an alcoholic), A.A. or Alcoholics Annonymos (for the alcoholic). and Alateen, ( for kids who live in alcoholic homes). You can find phone numbers in the phone book. Good Luck! Call Alanon today!