Well, the H's cell phone bill came today. He knew i would open it, but he's still so freaking addicted to her, he called her for 390 minutes (yes, in one month)(He had used it for work, and the total was about 1100 minutes--most were to me, though). Barely tried to hide it by using a calling card number some of the time. <BR>I lost it. I called him and let him appease me, sounded like good excuses...THEN i itemized the whole shebang, looked at dates and times...late nights, early mornings, when he was out running errands while here at home.<BR>I called him and left several VERY UGLY messages, told him not to come home, how could he do this to me, yadda yadda yadda. I called her, left a message about if she wants him, go the hell ahead. <BR>Then i sent her an email and asked would she please pay for the calls, since he claimed they were for business purposes ($117), and if she does not, should i sell her piano? (it's in my living room, and i've asked her repeatedly to get it out).<BR>Then, i looked at one of his email profiles, done after he said he loved me, wanted to come home, and was no longer seeing her, and he says he is "separated". whatever.<BR>Ok, i'm mad, but it is an anger tempered by indifference. <BR>Everything he has told me in the past month has been a supreme lie. NO, i don't care that he is accepting the job up north so he can be with me. Too bad, so sad. <BR>His loss. I won't take it for another second.<BR>I hope they rot in hell together.<P>thanks for the space to vent...shoulda had the presence of mind before i pulled all that, but i really am beyond caring. I tried to care, and it got me nothing but pain. He's just not worth it

((Peeking around corner))<BR>Is is safe to come out?*S* Wow! Big vent there! First of all BREATHE...<BR>Your post reeks of anger...and I don't blame you. I got my cellphone bill from when H made his "innocent 4th of July call" using my cellphone. Remember my post"My cellphone was stomped to death?" Anyway...I feel like shoving H's pager and cellphone where the sun don't shine. Ironically there the only 2 forms of communication I have with him during the week. <BR>I know how it feels to want to throw up your hands and say,"it's not $%*@ing worth it". <BR>Give yourself some time to calm down before you decide you've really had enough. Anger and pain can really cloud your judgement.<BR>I feel for you. <P>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR>

love WAS blind -- I'm so sorry for you.

I, personally, would kick him to the curb.

ah, so you DID read this, curious. yes, see, i was hoping SHE would kick him to the curb...keeps telling me she has, for crying out loud.<BR>ah hell, i don't know what to think anymore. i'm just plumb worn out...

{{{{{{{{LWB}}}}}}}}<BR>I know the feeling of itemizing a cell phone bill.... "our" bill for June was $460. My part was $ 45. I looked at the #'s H called... there were 2-7 calls a DAY to a "co-worker" ... H claimed they were work related..... at 2 am????? Give me a break!!<P>I don't really have any advice, I personally "repossesed" H's cell phone.... since he had told me he wanted me to leave again anyway. He went out a couple of days later and got another one. And I moved out a few days later. <P>Sorry... I didn't mean to rant on your thread. Reading your post just made me soooo angry all over again. <P>I hope things go better for you. <BR>Butterfly<BR><P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

My husband's cell phone goes to the office. I just WISH I could review it....<P>Maybe you should do like they did in Kyra's family. Stomp the cell phone to death. I remember that one!<P>I'm sorry. Are you any better today? Isn't he supposed to move home next week? Any plans?

butterfly-yeah, this is the very first bill that has ever NOT gone to he office. i really thought he would stop calling her. can you say ADDICTED? Oh, and most of the calls were dircetly before or after calling me, esp when he could not reach me (he sure called her a lot our week of plan B..like, right after he left the house for 10 minutes.)<P>TnT-yep, he's supposed to move hom this week. I was so mad, i told him not to bother. I don't know what is going to happen now. <P>I'm planning a fun morning to keep my mind off all this garbage <BR>y'all have a good weekend!

H just called, and gave me a long story about how OW has been trying to kill herself, and has been in the hospital, and that's why he called her, and he didn't call her that much, and it was all returning calls, and she was freaking out last night because i called her "about a hundred times" (left ONE message), and he's been working soooo hard to put things back together with me, and now i've blown it all.<BR>Oh well. I still have a fun day planned. <P>

YOU'VE blown it all?<P>Certainly you don't believe that...right?<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Oh, FHL, of course I blew it all. It is ALL my fault. Always is, don't you know?<BR> <P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

My heart goes out to you. Your H is a piece of work right now.<P>Stay strong...and keep that attitude!

Yowchy! That HURTS! I don't know what to say. I'm in a very yucky, non-talkative place right now.<P>I'm in "I can't trust him, but I want to try-mode." It sucks. I told him I wanted to stop by his apt this afternoon and check out his new computer. He admitted he's bookmarked several pornographic websites. Okay, BREATHE, "Thanks for telling me, Honey." I really want to bash your little testicles. Or even better, get out that rolling pin...<P>You see, he just bought the computer last Sunday, and he's been here every night starting Tuesday. For the last month he's been insisting that he's too busy to check out the MB website! (He has a laptop from work that gives him limited internet access) So, how does he find the time for pornography? I guess I should consider myself lucky that he told me, huh?<P>lWb, I feel for you!

love was blind,<BR>Hey, have yall read surving an affair yet. maybe it could help you ....got to say it just made me mad. You had ever right to blow your stack and if she was threating suicide, he should have called you and asked you what he should do...if he truly wants to fix his marriage it seems he would do all. If he had called and gotten your opinion maybe yall could have contacted her family or some of her other friends. Your h needs to break all direct contact with her and that would be one of my top conditions if I was you.<BR>I do hope it all works out for the best ..how old are your children...<P>------------------<BR>INLOVE.....<BR>LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS HOPING WE ALL HAVE ONE...<P>

Send her an e-mail, with a list of the cell phone calls - and a suicide hotline number...<P>(I'm bad today..... sorry)<P>I'd put call forwarding on the cell phone to the number too..... Ha that'd get her goat.<P>derelect.

LWB,<BR>OOOOHHHH... I'm getting steamed up again.... he would call her (or get a call from her) then call me... then call her right back (sometimes have her on call waiting while he talked to me). <P>One thing though..... the phone(s) are/were in MY NAME.... and I GOT THE BILL.... can you say STUPID???? Like I'm not gonna notice a $400 cell bill!!!! DUH!<P>Ok, it's Saturday, and I'm gonna have a good weekend... that was my outburst, now it's time to feel good about me.<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Yuckk!<BR>So many of us have to see that darn bill. Those have been the biggest problem in this house. My H has three different phone bill that I get shocks from! I'm not ever supposed to see the business one but Someone upstairs is watching over my shoulder and I seem to be able to stumble across the proof just to keep some control in my life.<P>In March I got to see the cell bill with 5 - 10 calls a day. It's long distance too. Never bothered to add up the price. <BR>His story - the affair is over but she's not well you know. She has lupus. I'm just seeing how she is doing.<BR>5 -10 times a day?<BR>Hang in there.<BR>You didn't blow it. You should have seen me.

<Holding hands above head> With all the bullets flying thought I'd surrender ahead of time. Just an observation...why does a mans intelligence shrink in direct proportion to the availability of a cell phone? Thank god my W doesn't have one of those. I don't know what I would do when faced with direct evidence of anything going on. Just want you to know that we are all not evil insensitive people contrary to popular and justified belief here at times.

hey lost and scared, good of you to defend the other sex. no you are not ALL horrible!<BR>butterfly, same thing--one minute to me, ten minutes to her, check the messages, three minutes to me..."just business calls"-at 6am? 10pm?<BR>inlove, my babies are unborn, and almost 2--i told him he should have mentioned about the suicide...he says her kid calls him all the time about her getting drunk and crazy (she's 16) who knows? im not real sympathetic... though he tries to get me to be! gross (know what you mean, ws.."she's sick..." boo hoo.)<BR>lizbeth, "yes, dear, that's nice of you to tell me about the porno sites" gag. they always have time for the "important stuff", eh? <P>I went garage saling for baby stuff this morning, and really scored, then took 2yo to the park, and when we got home, H was here, and all over me. didn't really apologize, but kissed me big, and took us out to lunch and to look at new houses. so we spent the day doing that and shopping, and he had to go help a friend with a job interview (he left a believable message to the guy while i was in the car with him anyway, and i have seen him go to these things on saturday before, this guy was a coworker i knew and can't get a job, so H is helping him. justified enough? ). <BR>he said he'd come home later, but i told him not to bother, if he has to move out of his hotel tomorrow--enjoy the jacuzzi bath one more time, and i'll have my last night alone.<BR>he's really quitting his current job on monday or tuesday, and the job up north is expecting him.<BR>so, i guess i didn't blow it, afterall? we had a really nice day, and it is beginning to FEEL like he means it, so maybe it is really getting better...(????)<BR>oh well, i feel pretty mellow now..wonder what's coming next?

LWB,<P>You are going to have nasty days. Trust me I have 1-2 a week at this point where I think that all involved are plotting against me and I am the only clueless one. I guess my advice to you is what I'm trying to do. I take it one day at a time and try to remember the good times when I'm having the bad ones. That's not to say ignore the issues or anything like that. The problem won't go away by ignoring it. However, you can try to keep a positive attitude regardless of what H does. That is driving my W nuts...she's tried to initiate arguments a few times in the last couple of weeks just to see if I'd bite. Then when I turn the tables and keep the good attitiude...she no longer has a leg to stand on and I once again prove that I've changed my outlook on life. Sorry to ramble...just some thoughts for you.