My husband and I have been married for seven month's and have never wanted to be with anyone else. His best friend asked him if he could sleep with me a couple of times and he said no way then last weekend this male friend came to our house and we all got drunk and had a threesome. I feel that my husband allowed and wanted this to happen so he could ease his own guilt of infidelity. I have had my suspicions in the past and now I am worried that he thinks it may be ok now even if he hasn't done anything yet.I feel as if I have been set up and betrayed. I am really ashamed by what went on and would never do it again.

You seem to think your husband had motives, what were your's? Trying something new & forbidden, pleasing your husband, overwhelmed by the situation, self esteem issues, thought the live style might be fun, or just acting on a drunken impulse. Well your husbands motives may have been the same as yours. Whatever they were needs to be talked thru. Communicate with him about your feelings and ask him about his, why did it happen, you both should try to understand the others point of reference. Many people never try that experience & some wish they could, some do & regret it, others live it as a life style, time to reconcile your feelings with husband and move past this. If you both feel same way you may be able to support each other, if not I recommend a counselor for yourself or both of you.

I have to agree with Bandito, sit down and talk to your husband about what happened and why. Chances are he may be going thru some of the same feelings you are. But, you two need to get it out in the open and tell each other your true feelings for each other and this incident. <P>

I dont think anyone understands what the hole picture is here my husband has been seeing a woman that works two doors down from him. Him and his boss were going to hire her as a secretary when I asked what her name is he said he doesn't know what her name is. And he has been distant for quite awhile when he gets home I ask something and he snaps at me. I pick him up everyday after work and watch this woman hang out taking to him then we had the threesome so I'm not really sure what is up with this,very confused when I want to talk about everything that has went on he gets very defensive and doesn't want to talk or try's to put the blame on me. He leaves in two weeks too go out of town for work and he has been thiking I'm going to have someone come over while he is gone I am not the one that intiatied this threesome that happened he did. Yes I went along with it and regret doing so I hope that the situation never rises again. But how ever I am worried that he had alterative motives for this happening. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by midnightangel:<BR><B> My husband and I have been married for seven month's and have never wanted to be with anyone else. His best friend asked him if he could sleep with me a couple of times and he said no way then last weekend this male friend came to our house and we all got drunk and had a threesome. I feel that my husband allowed and wanted this to happen so he could ease his own guilt of infidelity. I have had my suspicions in the past and now I am worried that he thinks it may be ok now even if he hasn't done anything yet.I feel as if I have been set up and betrayed. I am really ashamed by what went on and would never do it again.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Again, it is important that you try and talk to him. Tell him how you feel for him, how much you value your marriage and that you want nothing more than to be happy and to make him happy. Ask him to sit and talk to you and to try and not get defensive, but to tell you how he feels, and to be honest. Does he value the marriage, does he value you? What can be done to improve things? Tell him how you feel about this woman, that the whole situation makes you feel uncomfortable, not that you're accusing him, but just that the whole situation is uncomfortable for you. In all likelihood he will probably still get defensive, but try your best to remain calm and unassuming of anything. With a little luck and some finesse, hopefully you can get him to talk. I'm not going to lie to you, this may be difficult, he may say some things that are hurtful, but they are things that need to get out in the open before the two of you can make any kind of forward movement.

thank you rocko for being understanding about my situation and good news my husband and I spent the day together talking about our feeligs and what went on I feel that we got a lot of problems resolved today and were able to open up to each other. Both of us were feeling insecure and unable to show our feelings for each other but however we did discover today that we have a deep forgiving love for each other and was delighted to find out that my husband is not seeing another woman that was not the problem why he was being distant. He was being distant because he feels insecure with his job. Thank you for your input once again.Hope we can talk in the future. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by midnightangel:<BR><B> My husband and I have been married for seven month's and have never wanted to be with anyone else. His best friend asked him if he could sleep with me a couple of times and he said no way then last weekend this male friend came to our house and we all got drunk and had a threesome. I feel that my husband allowed and wanted this to happen so he could ease his own guilt of infidelity. I have had my suspicions in the past and now I am worried that he thinks it may be ok now even if he hasn't done anything yet.I feel as if I have been set up and betrayed. I am really ashamed by what went on and would never do it again.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><P>------------------<BR>

Something does not seem right here. You and your husband have been married only 7 months and his best friend had asked him a couple of times if he could go to bed with you?<BR>I would imagine that most men would have been highly upset about this and broken off the friendship after the first request.<BR>What would your reaction have been if your best girlfriend kept asking you if she could go to bed with your husband?<BR>I would think that you would have been highly offended.<BR>Why is your husband still friends with this man? I am afraid that I must agree with you that your husband clearly wanted this threesome to happen. I cannot imagine why a husband after being married only 7 months would want another man to have sex with his bride. I think that there is a lot more going on with your husband.<BR>I strongly suggest that you both seek marriage counseling and both stay away from his so called best friend if you are to have a successful marriage. I wish you luck.