My husband had an EA for the past two years, which I found out about on Nov 1, 2000 (the day my world changed forever). I found the bills for flowers and an expensive dinner and called him at work and confronted him with this. He came home and we argued. He packed his things and left that night, telling me he was going out of town to work for 5 days. Unbeknownst to me, he took the "whore" to a convention in Vegas, which they had been planning for months. When I found the bill for Vegas, he told me he was going to surprise me with the trip; she went with him at the last minute (I know this all to be lies, since I found emails). Anyway, we got into counselling as soon as he got back. His behavior alternated between remorse and loving to still seeing the "whore", drinking, doing cocaine, staying out all night and all other types of destructive behaviour. Every time I said I had enough and was leaving, he would tell me he loved me.<P>We are now in marriage counselling and separate counselling. It has recently come to light that my husband suffers from dissociative identity syndrome or multiple personality disorder. He was molested by multiple people as a child and had repressed feelings. My trying to control him and my anger resurfaced some of these personalities. <P>Let me tell you, it has been pure hell. He doesnt call or come home at night, and he left last night to be "byhimself" to think things out this weekend. I am a wreck! All of the texts I have been reading on the subject says this is very normal at the beginning of his discovery, and my counselor says the same thing.<P>Have any of you been through this ordeal? Is this normal? Any insight would be appreciated. I am at my wits end and trying to be patient and understanding, but I feel totally trampled on and unloved by him. <P>Does it get better with time? Is this normal? My biggest fear is that he is off with that "whore" again...which he tells me is over (even though her number keeps showing up repeatedly on our cell phone bills). Thanks for listening. <P>------------------<BR>Fran

Fran.......OMG.........this situation sounds soooo very much like that of me and my H. He, too, became involved with a "whore" whom is locally referred to as the "coke whore" because she is a drug addict whom attaches herself onto a potential druggie buddy much like a leech and suck their blood for everything that they are worth. Her infactuation with my hubby (and vice versa)helped flame my H's "mild" addiction into a full-fledged blaze that destroyed him, me and our family. This "little lady" ( and I use the term loosely) was a friend who became a mistress. She's a professional con-artist who works the system and men who possess or the promise of possessing a bit of money to finance her living and extra-curricular activities. Because I refused to go along with my H's drug schemes, he found someone who would stroke his ego and snort his coke. This went on for too long and resulted in a train wreck whereas my hubby is now incarcerated in another state for charges of attempting to transport drugs across state lines. And, she....a real manipulator, is still making her rounds within the home area and has rid herself of my H because he is no longer available to feed upon. <P>Oh.....I can't forget to mention that she is on probabation for drug charges that were initiated here in the home state. My hubby was also charged with various counts of illegal activities here at home, but he was first detained out of state and remains there. <P>Now he informs me that he wishes to truly "come" home and make our marriage what it once used to be. Oh....BTW....he last heard from his "queen" six months or more ago...to the best of his knowledge. How about that for a kick in the teeth. His timing is soooooooo.....hmmmmmmmm.....odd!!?!!<P>What do you think of that????? Know that you are not alone in your horror of the situation in which you must exist.<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B><p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited May 28, 2001).]