Hi everybody. Getting ready to go back to work, one more week to go, so I've been extremely busy. <BR>I took a look at all the posts since the last time I was here, but boy It will take me a long time to go trough all of them.<BR>Went camping again last week, and I'm probably as relaxed as I will get to start working.<BR>Things are still fine, although I had a couple of donws a few days ago. Nothing that he did, just me doing what I tell everybody not to do : dwell in what happened and on small things that are not important <BR>I missed this board though, I'm probably addicted <BR>Whatever it is, I feel that I have friends here that helped me and supported me, when I had no one. It's such a good feeling.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat

KAT<BR> Darn it we missed you !!!!! I'm glad to hear things are ok, and we all have days when the thoughts pop up and just won't go away, well it's the weekend again, h is snoring his guts out on the couch as usual, ( where's Sheba ? I'm gonna be in trouble AGAIN, darn ) I hate when he sleeps on the couch. Oh well one good thing, he won't be in the bed while I'm reading my book and eating frozen grapes, love those things.<BR> I'm not sure if you've been around since I changed user names, from not again or not.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi Kat1, long time no see. I have not been around much either. Miss everybody a lot. H has been gone 3 weeks, no physical contact, we did some e-mails. I told him I was starting counceling today with an SBT, she asked if he might come in and he joined me today! He see's her alone next Friday and then I see her alone Saturday. Don't know where this is headed, but I still have small hopes! Glad you're back!<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P><BR>

Hey Kat -<P>How's my twin doing????<P>Been waiting for you to get back!!<P>So tell me, did you guys end up going ALONE?????<P>I want details!!!! LOL!!!<P>Hugs and Welcome Home,<P>Sheba<P>PS - Look out Deb!!! Saw your new thread and here I come!!<BR>

Hi girls. I don't come to the computer as often as before, so sometimes it takes a bit until I right back. You know how it goes: Trying to do in the last week before going back to work, all the things that I should have done during the summer ! <BR>Debb, sometimes my H starts watching tv and then falls asleep. From them on, as much as I try to get him t come to bed, it's an impossible task, so I understand the feeling. Sometimes I just get onto the sofa myself limiting his space until he's unconfortable enough to wake up and go to bed! <BR>Lilly, counselling can help not only with the relationship ( or lack of it ) but also with all the issues around it that are affecting us. I found it quite postive even though we just went to about 6 sessions. Keep in mind, however, that things got a bit worse, before they got better even after counseling.<BR>Sheba twin!!! Missed you.<BR>No we didn't go alone. His cousin did go with us, which wasn't really that bad. I was a bit worried because although he's really nice, since he has been divorced for about 10 years and alone ever since, he has this thing about doing guys things. The last time he went camping with us - but that was some years ago - he was expecting my H to go with himhere and there while I stayed back in the park with my daughter ( the little one wasn't even born!). I grew up in a family where people used to do things together so I didn't like it that much, ut this time I talked with H and told him that I expected to go wherever he went, no staying behind while they went here or there - even if it was just the store - . The good thing is that he agrred with me and told me he had no intention of doing so. Good! <BR>Had a bit of a down spot just before going camping, but we're working on it.It's about something that I noticed ever since the affair: H is the same person he was before except in one thing he became harsher, tougher, not only with me, even with friends or at work. I wonder if this side effect will ever go away - I don't like it too much.<BR>Read your other post, but I'm not sure I made any sense because I didn't have time to read all the posts since the last time - there were so many!<BR>Hope hubbies confusion is a good sign .<BR>Take care<BR>Big hugs to you all\Kat

Melissa Kat: This is not even pertaining to your post, but I noticed you managed to change your username on the postings. How did you do it? I have more names right now than a fugitive from the law. Help!!!<P>Success Story )why me)<BR>aka: Sandy<P>------------------<BR><BR>SUCCESS STORY<P>

So sorry, got confused with the Kats, but if anyone can give me any insights into this, would appreciate it. Thanks.<P>Success Story (why me)<BR>aka: Sandy<P>------------------<BR><BR>SUCCESS STORY<P>

Why me, the only way I know of changing the user name is to register again using a different e-mail address. The other names will still be active but if ou don't use them it won't matter. I'm not sure if this is what you are asking, but if it is, this is the only way I know.By the way, I read your last post and found it quite interesting. I happen to agree with you, did the same and my marriage is in much better shape now than before the affair.<BR>DO take care<BR>Kat

Waaaeeell Heeelllo thar Kat (and all) !!<P>darn company server which is the way the laptop is set up...the techno challenged b**b that I am.... won't let me get here anyother way and it's been down since Thursday.....wanted to post to regarding the harsh stuff so her goes the cliffy notes again.<P>I'm convinced that they are only partially tougher...we've become soooo *introspective and watchful. However, I've been wandering lately if they don't continue to have periods of depression which they mask by being agressive and uncaring. I'm convinced that my H still doesn't have a real handle on what makes him tick, how he reacts to stress and where the rude black line is. . <P> I'm also wondering about the drug analogy..and if it's applicable..once you've taken the drug ....it seems you have only two choices. (1) take it again (cuz you love it) or (2) eliminate all future opportunities (run away as far as you can cuz you know it's only bad news).<P>How does this apply ? well, my husband knows he can't take from the vine again but he really doesn't know where to draw the line about future opportunities.(where does friendship end and something inappropriate kick in?) So where does that leave us ? I'm happy again, the kids are having fun, blah, blah, blah ...but he's still in utter chaos and one of the only disagreeable feelings he can muster is ANGER towards me, hence...the biting, sarcasm, mean spiritedness..... Kat, and I know enough about you to strongly say that there's not a whole bunch of things that you're doing to DESERVE his animosity but....we're sure in the same place !!<P>I could have Kicked the hubs butt several times and the only thing I really said was " why is it that I'm the only one who MANAGES THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH"? you know what he did....said nothing to me for hours....finally told me he was going to work (I knew this already) and he left. He called to say hi 2 hours later with a nice voice but man....this is crazy. I did tell him today that I'd like to see someone with him related to anger management.....he said he understood some of what I was saying.....but I wonder if he has or cares enough to really mange the beast down?????<P>Hey, I missed you guys and I'm reeling about the other thing.<P>Gotta pack...business trip till Wed....please take care and really glad that things are bouncing back !!<P>-Tina<P><P>------------------<BR>