I am new to Marriage Builders. Everyone seems to have such serious concerns and I am afraid mine is not as serious. Be patient and please respond. I need creative ideas!<P>I would still consider us newly weds, but I feel like we've been married an eternity. We have been married for almost three years and I am really on the verge of walking out. For three weeks now my husband has been confined to our home. He may go to work two days out of five and says on the other days that he is working from home. (Which he does for about three to four hours a day.)<P>I feel he is testing the outer limits of our marriage. He does nothing around the house except continue to make a mess. We a remodeling our newly purchased home and he very seldom does anything to help. After spending four days out of town with the boys, he has come home to spend the last two weekends glued to the TV, never moving from the couch. And just when I thought I couldn't despise his actions any more, he adds more fuel to the fire! He thinks he should have a brand new motorcycle!! He doesn't understand that other things in our life take priority.<P>Am I being silly? I married this man because I loved him and I thought he was my friend. Today I'm on the verge of hate and am thinking, "With friends like this who needs enemies?" Please send words of encouragement. I have tried to resolve this with him and it only turns into a screaming, word flinging fight. I can't take anymore and I'm looking at apartments tomorrow. I would like to resolve this, but from where I'm sitting, there looks to be no resolution in sight.<P>Thanks for your help,<BR>Gatsby

I do not know why you said that your problems are not big ones. Your marriage is falling apart.<P>My suggestion to you is that you start my reading all of the material on this website. Then read Dr. Harley's book "His Needs, Her Needs". The other books by Dr. Harley might be of interest to you too. <P>Basically you and your husband are falling out of romantic love because you are not filling each other most important emotional needs. The material on this web site will help you a lot.<P>I also suggest that you visit this site often and post, post, post. The people here have been wonderful and a great help.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

I don't blame you for being mad. This Guy shows all the signs of being a "love buster". Is there a reason though, that he does not want to be around you? Are you critical of his handywork? Constantly nagging? Being selfish and demanding? If not, ask him what he really wants in this marriage. Life is not all his way or yours. Share with him the love busters questionare. Also know that a man feels flooded when he does not want to talk. Find a time that he will be willing to at least hear you out. Don't demand an answer immediately. Give him some time to respond. God Bless.

sounds rough. He sounds depressed. It might be a good idea to talk to him about how he's feeling and see where all this is rooted. If you didn't have kids, I'd tell you not to waste your time, but you do, so you have to put in the effort to sort this one out. When my hubby is overworked/stressed at his job, he is difficult to live with, can't talk to him about anything and he just complains about everything. Maybe it's the same thing. <P>