I got an email the other day, and i wanted to share it and add my 2 cents:<P>It was a story of some young teenagers who wanted to see a PG-13 movie, and they were trying to convince their dad that it was a great movie, good actors, no sex, everyone has seen it, etc..."except for this one part where a building gets blown up and lots of people die". Well, the dad says No. period.<BR>Later, the dad comes out with some really yummy smelling brownies, and offers them to the girls, and says, "oh, i made these from scratch, took me a lot of time, and i used all the best ingredients, except, i put some dog poop in them. Not much, and the brownies are really good, otherwise" Of course, the girls are disgusted, and he points out, "it's just like the movie, it may be great otherwise, but it is ruined by that one violent scene"<P>You know what? that's what my marriage feels like when my H is cheating or lying to me about something.<P>Lies are just dog poop in otherwise good marital brownies.<P>Makes me think of all the posters who start off with: "My marriage is fantasic, but i just ended an affair last month...", and that sort of thing.<BR>The teenagers were led to believe violence is not at all harmful, and we are led to believe that it's ok to lie to protect someone. <BR><P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

LOL <BR>I like that...

Really like that - figure my brownies had rather more than their share of poop!!

sosad - yours had that a fair share of poop? My brownies don't have the ingredients listed.... Eat at your own risk!

Well, my brownies started out ok, but now it seems like someone fed the dog an M&M.... mostly poop. <P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

love was blind,<P>The brownie story is one of those little analogies that carry a lot of truth.<P>For those who are deceiving themselves into believing how terrible the OP is and are appalled that they could by duped into a relationship with such a person, this story adds some perspective to their change of heart. If there wasn't a problem in the marriage (and one that probably won't go away no matter how much counseling takes place), the affair would not have happened. That's the way it is, unless the betrayer was a real low life and strayed from a wonderful marriage.<P>Thank you for the earthy perspective. It is much needed.<P>

YIKES BB <P>I have got to disagree with you. I am married to the most ownderful man. He is also the betrayer. Our marriage is a "normal" (does anyone have a definition) one. We do not fight but there are times that we don't agree and might blow a bit of steam now and then. We have the same interests and motivation. But------my H feels as though he is nothing to look at (he is so stoopid and good looking). When the OW was flirting with him he said he enjoyed it. And it isn't like I never told him what a hunk he is-I have. But he still didn't see himself as a looker. Anyhow-the OW flirted big time and then at some point asked him to kiss her. THis is where the affair all started. He doesn't know why he didn't have to courage to say NO but he didn't and he said he truly enjoyed feeling as though someone was apying him attention. Of course now he says he was the biggest idiot on earth-he is truly ashamed and regretful of what he did. But it was the ego thing. I never ever thought my H would wander-he made it a point to always make me feel so secure but evidently I wasn't doing the same for him. I do NOT believe that I am deceiving myself at all when I say the OW is a *bleep*. She is-and if you don't believe me let me introduce you two. She not only used me-who was supposed to be a good friend but she used my H as well. All at our expense.<P>I have to close as this has gotten me very angry. Not at you so much as at the situation. I just wanted to stress my point. Sure hope I did a good job

yeah, TnT, not only do i have the poop, but something was missing from my brownies...like eggs, sugar, chocolate...there was not much to begin with, then throw in the poop, and well, there was not much to work with. (background, H and i met december 1, married december 31. shotgun wedding...like i said, some major ingredients were missing from day one...)<BR>annnnyyyway...now that i know what is missing, in terms of emotional needs, maybe we can start over altogether