My husband and I have a big problem. Whenever we get into a major conflict (which isn't often, thank goodness) he calls me a "*****." He says he has the right to b/c I am acting like a "*****." Basically, I am disagreeing with him is all the problem is. I try really hard to get along with him most of the time, but I speak up for myself when I have to, then I am called "*****."<P>I can give you the specifics of the latest argument we had, but I think that's beside the point. I don't think it's EVER appropriate to name call, even if you feel like you hate that person right at that very moment. I have NEVER called my husband a name. He feels like if he can't call me "*****" then I won't know how mad he is and I'll basically get away with murder. Let me tell you, I am a thoughtful person I don't intentionally treat my husband bad. Sure, there are times I've been unintentionally thoughtless. Who hasn't? <P>I think my husband is verbally abusing me and we need counseling. He disagrees. I think he's trying to "put me in my place." I'm getting sick of this coming up time and time again. He finally apologizes for his outburst then he does it again next time he gets really angry.<P>What is your opinion on name calling while arguing? I think it's abuse. Am I overreacting, as my husband claims?<P>

I agree that name-calling qualifies as verbal abuse. My H used to call me names during arguments, but he's stopped since we've been in counseling. Your H has an anger problem and it needs to be dealt with.<P>I know it hurts. If he won't go for help, you should go for YOU. <P>{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Man's point of view here...<P>If he is calling you names it is definitely verbal abuse. You don't have to take it.<P>I think the worst think I have called the two women that I have been married to is selfish...<P>The next time he starts to do that, you need to calmly tell him that he is verbally abusing you and if he does not stop you will call the authorities..if he blows you off and continues...make the call...most communities have ordanances that classify name calling in anger as verbal assault.<P>Best of luck

If he calls you names again, calmly say it is wrong and resume the conversation, if he continues, tell him you will talk to him when he can respect you.