We are going through a hell time right now, and I am getting so tired of it. We just had our 10 year anniversary which ended up being a total disaster. We ended up in a huge fight and I ended up crying all night. <BR>We did make up the next day but it still just breaks my heart.<BR>This weekend we went to a friends house for a party and the next day my H wouldn't talk to me, he was totally miserable. He is a very jelous and paranoid person and made something out of absoloutely nothing! My girlfriend and I are were singing a song thats on the radio and he asks me the next day what we meant by our comments (we were singing the verse of a song and laughing), he then said I don't think its right that you belittle me. I can't believe it! It was a song that had nothing to do with him, we were just singing! I told him that and he tells me "I can't believe you, ya right, I knew you would say something like that" I asked him over and over exactly what it was that I said to make him so mad, and he won't tell me, all he would say is that if I did tell you would just try to talk me out of it and say that you didn't mean it so just forget it". He is just wacked! I don't know what to do. I can't think of anything I said or did that would of been belittling to him and how am I supposed to know if he won't even tell me! I went up and hugged him and he did half hugged me back this morning but it was a distant kind of hug, a hug like I would of liked to say "why bother" to him but I didn't. I was about to say I'm sorry if I said anything to hurt him but I thought why should I say sorry for something I didn't even do? <BR>This last little conflict is just a little rock on a mountain that we have been having lately. He is so up and down with me now that I don't know what to expect. I have to sit and watch everything I say and do now. I can't joke with him without him taking it the wrong way, I can't disagree with him on anything without him taking it personally. He is also getting mad at the kids all the time and can be so miserable and I am so tired of it. He has started to drink alot more which has become a conflict between us, I have talked to him about it and told him that I want him to stop, initially he had made an effort but now just gets mad if I say anything. I deal with all the finances and he has no desire and will not be involved (he just spends the money). This is also a big problem right now as he is just blowing money and I feel like I'm the bad guy when I have to tell him "no more". I told him this but he will not become involved, he only said "well do you want me to do it?its a one person job" There is no way I would just drop it all and let him handle it, I want to be a part of it, we are supposed to be partners in this. <BR>He is going away this weekend with a friend hunting and I am happy, i need some space from him. I don't know if anybody can give me some advice, seems like its an endless battle. I am trying hard not to love bust, and I am trying very hard to do nice things to fill up his bank, I don't know what else to do? <BR>

Your husband sounds just like mine, except mine doesn't drink or hunt. Other than that, they could be clones. I wish I had the answer for us both. <BR> I did read a book recently called Delusional Disorder by Alistair Munro. It didn't have the answer either, but it helped me to understand things a little better. <BR> A number of people have told me not to try to argue with my husband when he gets like that, because you can't reason with unreasonable people. I was told by one counselor to say that's your delusion talking and I'm not going to respond to that. <BR> Of course, that doesn't solve anything and he just walks away and I get the silent treatment for a few days. He eventually gets over it though. It is a lot better than a heated argument and I don't end up in tears. <P>Dee