I have been married to my husband for six years. I have a daughter from my previous marriage. Before we were married, my husband told me that he would accept my daughter 100%. The first year was ok. Then he began to have problems accepting her. The major problem was about my retirement money. He was angry because I only gave him 50% in case I die. The other half would go to my daughter. He said that he was hurt by this. He feels that I am only partly his wife. I have another life with someone else such as talking to my ex about my daughter's education and behavior, etc. <P>He started an infidelity for several years because he said it was a way to erase his pains caused by the presence of my daughter. He became impotence because of her. He is not happy. He makes us all unhappy. He said that this is the consequence that we have to live with. Most people told me to divorce him. I am hesitating and still love him. Do you see a way out of this impasse?

Weakweak,<P>Since you came to this marriage with your daughter, and he accepted that, then you are not responsible for ANY of his actions. He must understand that as parents, you and your ex have a duty to your daughter as mother and father to raise her, which requires communication and, yes, financial planning.<P>You have not "sprung" anything new on your husband, because you came with your daughter. He needs to take full responsibility for his actions and try to understand your duties as a parent. Just my 2 cents.

Hi, SamAdam:<P>Thanks for your response. Your comment does not apply in my case. He said that he understands it. He was sincere when he said that he would accept her 100%. He tried, but it did not work for him. Now he is not happy. He does not want a divorce either. He does not want to accept her, either. A delimma! Periodically he will become withdrawn for months. Obviously it is because of the existence of my daughter. <P>

You have to work together to parent your child with your husband, he sees you working with Ex, shouldn't he be involved as well? If you aren't including him in your discussions, YOU ARE WRONG! My wife is in the exact same position as your husband & I understand her feelings, they are geniune. She was 100% at first but things happen & it is your responsibility to help your spouse thru the issues. Your spouse is your partner not your ex! You must work with ex but your spouse is way more important. Talk to each other and get to a counselor...... good luck.