I found out a few months ago that husband has been cheating on me with someone he works with. That is bad, on top of that he has lied to me about everything concerning this matter. I mean when I found out he was cheating he said that it was over and yet he now calls this girl his friend and they keep in touch though e-mail and he recently obtained a cell phone so that he could stay in contact with her. I do love my husband but I am tired of all the tears I have shed and he is not trying to do any better. Meaning he does not seem remorseful nor has he said that he was sorry and the fact that he is trying to keep this girl around is a big slap in the face to me. I do love him and I do not want to be divoriced, I have honestly been praying about this I just do not know what to do.

It is a very hard place to be. I was there almost 6 years ago when my H had what he claimed was an EA with my best friend. They worked together and he was best friends with her H. Just that much was awful, it went on for about 6 months. We were separated for 9 but got back together, went thru counseling, etc. Well last fall he started acting very distant again. We ended up back in counseling. I demanded that this EA be discussed, worked thru and put in the past as I had never resolved it.<P>Come to find out it was PA, they had sex in her car at the beach, at her house, were together IN MY BED, at the office, etc. I am devastated and can't believe I was lied to for so long by 2 people I loved so much. She had only been married 6 months, we were both in the wedding.<P>So now the hard forgiveness part begins. <P>I know how you feel, my H was a totally different person I didn't even recognize during all of this. I thank God that he came to his senses, but it took quite a while. I will never get over all of the lying. Now he needs to get checked for diseases since they didn't use any protection. Makes me sick to my stomach to say the least. The hardest part is knowing they were in my bed. I've been on the couch since I found out.<P>I pray that you H will wake up. Hang in there, pray and take care of yourself. If he won't go to counseling, go alone. It really does help. Take care. maggierose

I have been there also. My husband had an affair with one of our best friends. She lived in my home for 3 years. The last year I got pregnant with our second child and that is when it started. To make it even worse they worked together also. I knew it was going on and I would say things to him and he would smile and giggle tell me I was crazy. Finally I got fed up. I kicked her out of my home hoping that would end it. It still went on of course. He finally admitted it and he tried to end it but then she went crazy on him and was stalking him and I. Her family was harrassing me constantly. It got totally out of hand. Finally he quit his job and shortly after we moved out of state. We got away from her finally!!!! <BR>What made this so painful was not the affiar it was the LYING right to my face and smiling. When I knew and he knew I knew! I was lossing my mind over it. I would check my car for her cigarette butts, or her Soda cans. I would check his pockets, it was so bad if I seen a peice of paper laying around I would read it just to see if it was a note from here. It was a horrible feeling. I know it had nothing to do with his feelings towards me. He didnt love me any less and I knew he didnt love her at all. It was him being stupid and horny. I was pregnant and large and he wasnt attracted to me physically anymore so he went and got it elsewhere. We have moved past it. I trust him just as much as I ever did and I know he loves me 100%. I am still mad at him for it and might always be. However I still love him and still wouldnt want to spend the rest of my waking days with anyone but him, and that is what you have to look at. Can you see yourself waking up to anyone else? Can you see yourself having a family with anyonelse? I hope it all turns out for ya!<BR>Tina

Any updates, for someone new to this game?? All Help needed.

I feel your pain w/ you. My husband had an emotional affair (he still denies it, but I think it happened) 2 years ago w/ a female co-worker of his. Granted it was not a sexual thing that I can prove, but the pain of any affair is terrible! My husband has never apologized for anything in 2 years, he still works w/ her and god only knows what else. But I am still married to him & working on my own feelings. Even after 2 years I still have anger, rensentment, fear, tears etc. Not every single day...like I did at first, but I still have these feelings and many more. Hang in there!!

do you confrom your cheating H ?<BR>Do you wait for the OW to pick him up?<BR>WHat do you do?