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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 3 |
Well,<BR> Purely by accident and desperation I found this site. Was on the web getting information on legal separations and clicked the counceling link. I have never participated in a chat room or forum so this is a little scary. I don't know where to begin. Basically, Married 15 years, I love my H so much it hurts but due to some failed future plans and broken promises I have fallen into the catagory of conflict involving demands, disrespect, outbursts and bad behaviour. We argue constantly with few times of reprive. We are either fighting or not speaking to one another. I'm functionally depressed. He has immersed himself in projects that give us maybe 30 min a day to connect. I beg him for his time but if we aren't in some productive project he can't just sit and converse and connect after a long day. He has recently retired (he's only 45) and has redefined his life and what makes him happy. Everything seems to be different. I don't know where I fit in anymore. Tired of trying but don't want to give up...<BR>Can anyone relate? How do I get of rut?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 29
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 29 |
Try to learn about and become involved in some of his hobbies and interests.This will give you an opportunity to have some recreational time together. Also,you didn't mention if he accuses you of being "controlling". My problem started off with my controlling behavior, and the comments my husband made sound similar. If you have a problem with this, you might enjoy reading "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 3 |
Thanks for your input. I will look for that book today. I feel like I am just trying to get him to balance his activities so I can fit in somewhere and yes he feels I am demanding and controlling in the process. Thanks again!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8 |
I'm fairly new at this too, but this site saved my marriage. Not only this site, but please check out these books by Dr. Harley:<BR>"His Needs, Her Needs" and "Give and Take" <P>They'll help you remember why you got married in the first place and give you some great insight on how to resolve conflict.<P>One key factor though: He has to want to do it too!<P>Good luck to you<P>
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