A year ago my H forgot to close his email account when he left for work. As I walked by I was surprised that it was the account he said was "just for junk mail." I glanced at the name in the return address and did not recognize it. So, I opened the mail to see what it was. I was shocked when I read it, so I started opening and reading some more. They were all emails between my H and other men who were gay or bisexual. Some even contained pictures.<BR>I called my H and he immediately came home and starting deleting everything he could delete off this computer. He said it was just a game. He said it didn't mean anything. I was hysterical; sobbing and unable to even think. It was hard enough to breathe.<P>He apologized for days, and swore it wouldn't happen again. After a few days, I told him I thought we needed counseling because I wasn't getting over it. He begged me to try for a little longer so I did. We started doing better for a while.<P>A month later, close to bedtime, I found a website on the history of the computer (for that week) for a gay man's site. I started yelling at him and crying, I just couldn't help it. He hugged me and apologized again, and swore again it wouldn't happen.<P>Well, as far as I know and can tell, he hasn't been surfing these sites on this computer anymore.<BR>But...I had to borrow his truck while he was out of town because my AC in my car went out, and there were condoms in the side pocket of the truck. Since he has had a vasectomy 9 years ago, I saw no reason for there to be condoms in the truck. <BR>I called him and he said they had been there a long time, he had them from a joke. I was too hysterical to question him any further. I am not normally like that. I am an intelligent person with a practical personality.<P>So, my irrational side searched his truck. I found a CD dated from '99 in his work folder that he takes to work at the main building. I put the CD in the rom and it was full of downloaded naked pictures of men, women, men/women, and some of him naked. It also had his personal filing cabinet from his email account with saved emails from the time period of 8/99-3/00 which is before I caught him last year. Microsoft opened some of the emails and it hurt to read them.<BR>In them, a bisexual married man gave my H his cell phone number and wanted to meet with my H and do things. It would not open all the emails, so I don't know if anything ever came about.<P>My concerns now are my children. I don't want them hurt. <BR>Do I bring up the emails and pictures I found? Or do I let it go since they came from the time before my initial discovery?<BR>LenaGay<P>
