I am still surprised by the last revelations that my husband (we have been married for 6 years) presented to me a couple of months ago. I (and everybody around) thought that our marriage and family was the most beautiful they knew. We both looked so happy, so commited, so much in love. The truth of the matter is that my husband has never wanted to be married to me, and feels absolutely sick and tired of pretending and faking he wants me. His remarks were the answer to my questioning about his withdrawal after four month geographic separation. He says he has known all along that I was not his sexual partner and because he was afraid of hurting my feelings he decided just to let it go. Ignoring the problem. I my self thought he was a quiet lousy lover. However, my love for him made me tolerate the situation and only very seldom comment that we could improve our sexual life. <BR>We have talked a lot about this matter and I cannot understand how he can think we can live in a marriage without sexual fulfillment. He would never try therapy, and he would never divorce me neither. He says now he loves me and I and our 2 kids are his priorities in life, but sex with me seems to him a job, or so antinatura as having sex with his own sister!!!!!!. He just does not notice me, does not look at me, does not approach me emotionally in any way. It just does not occur to him. He thinks that time will show us what to do. I simply have no idea what would be the miracle that would give us a solution to this terrible conflict. By the way. He refuses to talk any further on this. It makes him so tired, and in his own words he has no new things to add to the matter. Does anybody understand how I feel?. I love this man. I have adored him all the time!.<BR>Julianna.

You husband is a complete and total idiot!<P>My wife is much the sameway, sex is a chore to be done and please not all the time....<P>Sex is a part of marriage that two people need to grow closer together and make their union whole.<P>I am so sorry for you that you have a man that has decided to treat you like this with thhis kind of a lie!

Julianna, <BR>I feel your pain complete! Please read through my predicament in the following forum..."wife not in love with me anymore." I feel so disgusting when I look at my soon to be ex-wife, there appears to be no passion in her eyes...We were married for four and a half yrs, together for 6-yr. Our end is near, I hope you resolve your problem. I have friend in NC who though introducing another couple into the bed scene would liven up the relationship...What a mistake that turned out to be!!!<P>Keep your chin up, I've got enough sorrow for the whole board.<P>Gionforbroke

and you know what is worst?...that I have also learned what a great lover he has been to others (with whom he has cheated from the very first month), and that his sexual drive is actually enormous!!!!. He just feels lusty about any woman he knows BUT ME!!!. What is wrong?....should I even try to fix this?. I see that I can do not a thing about it cause I am quiet fit, healthy, and beautiful woman. Always very popular, even now among his colleagues and friends...Should I keep the hope?. I do not want to be 80 years old to listen the first time a truly felt I love you cause you stayed with me anyway!!!. I am only 32 and need to feel wanted. I must have the sexual need satisfied. Makes me so angry and nervous, my whole family feels the tension......Ohhh I feel so sorry......thanks for your reply. Any comment is helpful.

You know what? nothing is definitive!!!!!!!!!. Not a marriage, nor a break up. You can become interesting for her again if at some point there was a connection. Also taking a decision about your marriage one whay or another will help you focusing and stop dwelling on what could have happend or might happen if....just concentrate on you if you really get a divorce. And trust your self. She would probably look at you with different eyes. <BR>I just cannot yet take a stand on this: do I leave or is it worth to stay?.....The best energy to you. Be well and strong all the way!!!!

TALK about your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. If you do not know what the other one likes how can you make it fun for the both of you. Then talk about what you like most about him sexualy and the same for him he should tell you what you do that makes him get that crazy smile. Sex is a wonderful thing! Being sexual makes it easier, if either one of you are uptight about sex then it can hamper that part of the marriage. Ask what would make you his ideal lover and he should ask you the same. I hope it works out it seems that you both love each other! Now Go get your freak on! hehehehe