Would like some feed-back please....<P>My husband has attention defecit disorder and at age 38 still has not turned to medical help for this condition, even though it affects his everyday life and of course mine. He has had as many as 16 jobs in one year as a result of his ADD. <P>He has many other issues other than his inability to stayed employed because of his ADD. To say the least, I have been through HELL and back. Certainally, it is not all about having ADD, but I feel that I could at least "work with him" if could get his ADD under control.<P>I left him the first part of June after 8 years of marriage because I could not take being the "damage control" partner in the marriage. He STILL has not received help or even been able to FIND employment. I now reside in another state. We lived in a small town and he has gone through every employment opportunity available to him. <P>He called last week and is not doing well. He has admitted that he knows he needs help with his condition and wants our marriage back. He is not a lazy man, he is in fact anything but! Just very much NOT in control of his life. I really don't see him ABLE to pull himself out of this. I was pleasant to him when he called and then politely cut the conversation short. <P>My question is.....I have been fighting this battle with him for 8 years now. I do love him, my (our) son loves him. He has been the only "father" my son knows. His biological father is deceased. My son is now 20 and has flew the nest. I am for the first time taking time for me. I sometimes find myself wanting to just clear the slate and give in one more time. I am doing okay without him, but I do love him. I could do better, but that is not what marriage is about. I have not relayed any feelings one way or the other as to my missing him or wanting to get back together or not. I guess you can say I have been a silent partner......hoping and waiting for him to "show" me some kind of effort. But what if he really is between a rock and a hard place...... what would you do????????<P>Would really like to discuss this with SOMEONE. ESPECIALLY if you have knowledge of ADD/ ADHD.<P>Thanks for listening, <BR>Negative Balance!<BR>

Negative Balance,<BR> I think your doing the right thing already!!! You have already got him to say he knows he has a problem. And as for being ABLE everyone is able to fix a problem if THEY want too. I have learned you can only control your self. I would stay in contact and suport him when he calls. But, you are only going to hurt yourself if you jump back in to quick. If he loves you and wants his life back. He will make a good move to do so. The thing is when we love some one it is hard to stay away. Good luck, and God Bless.

<BR>Thanks, I needed to hear that. Exacatly that. I guess deep down I know that I am where I am suppose to be, I am just wanting him to be where HE is suppose to be. I must continue my path and wait for him to do what HE NEEDS TO DO!<P>I am just getting a little impatient, I hope the resentment doesn't start to build. This has been hard; sometimes I think he will never get his life in order. If that proves to be true; so be it! I have set a certain time limit in my mind that I am willing to wait. I don't honestly think he will make it but; I have to know that I didn't just walk away without trying...... and I tried very hard before I left too. I know that I am handling this right; just needed to hear it from someone else I guess !!! Thanks for responding I appreciate it. <P> <BR>Negative Balance<P>