My husband and I have been married for over 21 yrs and have 3 boys. Throughout the years I have suffered from depression that seemed to get worse after the birth of our second son. The dr's I went to insisted that nothing was wrong with me but I continued to not want to go anywhere or do anything. Then I started gaining weight and I was embarrassed for anyone to see me so I began shutting everyone out of my life, starting with my husband. I hated myself, I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror and I knew he had to be embarrassed of me also, even though he never told me that. I just built up a brick wall and wouldn't let anyone in. Well, my husband has just told me that he has been having an affair with a girl that was his best friend in high school. He thinks he's in love with her and isn't sure that he wants our marriage to continue. I know I hurt him and I am now in counseling and taking medication and I can finally look at myself in the mirror and like who I see. He's afraid that I'm changing now because I want him back and if he comes back that things will go back to the way they were before. All I can tell him is that I never want to be that person again, he will never know unless he comes back. He's moving out now to try to decide what he wants to do. She has also since moved out on her husband and three children too. I truly love him with all my heart and I want us to re-build our relationship. Is there any chance at all for us? He has agreed to go to counseling with me, our first session is a few days away. This whole situation is just tearing me up inside, I love him but he doesn't want to hear that right now, it just confuses him more. What can I do to help him believe that we can have a great relationship together again. Please help...I just want a second chance.........

Your h sounds like mine, in that he won't believe we could have learned to change our ways.<P>Have you read all you can on this site? Go and do the tour, read all you can about Plan A, emotional needs, love busting, the love bank, and antything else you find that might relate to you.<P>I have founmd this site to be most educational, helpful and supportive. And I know you will too. Buty you must read all you can first.

Thanks for your input...I've been reading as much as possible at this site, it's been great. I'm understanding about the emotional needs but what good is all this going to do if he doesn't know what he wants? I truly love him with all my heart but right now he wants me as a friend, he really thinks that he is in love with this other girl. That is just killing me. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><B>Your h sounds like mine, in that he won't believe we could have learned to change our ways.<P>Have you read all you can on this site? Go and do the tour, read all you can about Plan A, emotional needs, love busting, the love bank, and antything else you find that might relate to you.<P>I have founmd this site to be most educational, helpful and supportive. And I know you will too. Buty you must read all you can first.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>