My H and I have only been married for a month and a half, but we're already having some issues...<P>My H has a bad temper. No physical violence - I would NOT tolerate that - but yesterday, during an argument, he actually took off his wedding ring and said something like, "That's why this isn't working." I was so shocked that I started to cry... and then he realized what he'd said and did and *he* started to cry, and begged for my forgiveness. We made up, and he kept apologizing all night. <P>I love my H with all my heart, and I know he loves me... but when he gets angry, he says and does very hurtful things. In addition, he's always saying that I have to change my behavior/habits, yet if I ask him to change, he becomes angry and says that he's not going to change who he is just because we're married. He's afraid that I'm trying to force him to change everything about him when I'm not - but I think that marriage means we both have to change habits we had when we were singles. He doesn't seem to understand this.<P>I don't know what to do. We're both strongly committed to our marriage - we both agreed that we married for LIFE. Am I just being paranoid over what are typical newlywed issues? We can't afford counseling (money is really tight right now). Should we talk with our pastor? Any advice?

-Joann<BR>Go through the main part of MB and read everything you can. Even if you think it doesn't apply to you.<P>If both of you are committed to making the marriage work then fill out the questionaires TRUTHFULLY then go over them together. Find out about each other.<P>Then work on what needs to be worked on.<P>I really wish that I had done that BEFORE I got married.<BR>-Kat-

Make absolutely certain you take care of this now...I have been married to a wonderful man for 2.5 years (we've been together for 6). Before we got married, I noticed that there just seemed to be this rage inside him. It was never directed at me, but it manifested itself in little things, like a lack of patience (in general), flying off the handle over inconsequential problems, etc.<p>The long and short of it is this: we're still suffering tremendous problems/repercussions because I simply didn't have the guts to confront his behavior. Now, we're in a pattern where I freeze up when his temper shows itself. You have to deal with it now while you can......I love my H more than anyone else in the world but he's just tiring me out. I'm trying to hang in, but I just can't stand on eggshells forever without one of them breaking.<p>Get some counseling, talk to someone---now!!