My wife move out about 2 weeks ago. She never really gave me a reason why, she just said you will never change and I can't do this anymore. I know that I was mean to her as she was moving out. The reason I was mean to her was that I wanted to hurt her because she was hurting me by leaving and not trying to work things out. She has moved in with an old boyfriend they are good friends now. I have gone to counseling to try and find out what it is that I'm doing wrong this is my third marriage and I wanted it to be my last one and last forever. I asked her to come to counseling with me but she just said that she wasn't going to do anything until the dust settles. I love this woman with all my heart. She has a daughter (10) from a previous marriage that I care about also she won't let me call and talk to her and she says that she doesn't want me in her life anymore and I find that hard to take also. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get her to go to counseling?

Az,<P>There is really no way to get her to go. That is a personal choice.<P>Have you read the concepts here at MB or purchased any of the books? <P>All you can do is work on yourself and make what improvements you can, hopin that she wiil see.<P>Is there any possibility that she is having an A with this **friend** of hers?<P>-Kat-

<p>[ October 27, 2001: Message edited by: azripley ]</p>

Hey Kat<p> Thanks for the reply. No I don't think that she is having and A with this guy, pretty sure.<p>We have been talking quite a bit. Her car had broke down and I'm letting her use the suburban until I fix her car. We don't have conversations about us and what is going to happen with our marriage. I think that she hates the fact that I'm going to counseling. She says that she doesn't have to go to counseling because she is happy with her life and that nothing is wrong with it.<p>I tried to talk to her today about us and what was going to happen. She just states that "Do what you have to do." <p>I have done everything for this woman and tonight I asked her why she left me and her reply was that I was a compulsive liar. So I said okay what where some the the things that I lied about.
She got mad and said that she wasn't going to play this game that she was going home. I told her that no matter what I said she was going to believe what she wanted to anyway so it didn't matter what I said I was going to always be a compulsive liar to her. We were in the car when we where talking at one point I asked her to pull over and let me out that I needed to walk. She said no we are almost to the house. At the stop light down the street from the house I undid my seat belt to get ready to exit the car. She thought that I did it to get out of the car at the light which wasn't the reason that I did that, but according to her that was the reason I did. so I was lying again. Again I told her that she only sees and hears what she wants to precive.
The rest is a blur I said thing that I shouldn't have. I did say that I was sorry for that as I left the car. Not a good night. Wish I knew what to do. I'm going to counseling and she dosen't take that as that I trying to save our marriage that things can be worked out. I'll shut up now. What books? Does she need to read too?

Thanks Kat
Az.

Az,<p>You need to post this on Divoce/Divorcing. there are a lot of people there that have read more input on the books.<p>Of course it would help if your wife read the books too. But right now you need to work on yourself and whatever you can do to make you better.<p>Read all the info on this site...And trust me it will take awhile. Then put some plans into action.<p>I know that there are times I feel that my H lies to me, actually it is the sin of ommission more then anything, but maybe you need to read about the HONESTY policies at MB. ..<p>Anyways......repost your original letter on D/D and see what kind of responses you get.<p>-Kat-

Kat,<p> Thanks again for the info. I'll post it on the D/D. She is just so angry.<p> Az.

Kat,<p> Where do I find Honesty policies on this site?<p> Thanks,<p> Az.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by azripley:
<strong>She has moved in with an old boyfriend they are good friends now</strong><hr></blockquote><p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>No I don't think that she is having and A with this guy, pretty sure<hr></blockquote>
As much as we like to think it can't happen to us, it sure looks like it has happened to you. Perhaps it is not physical but it sure is an emotional attachment. She would rather live with an old boyfriend than her husband?<p>The A/B plans don't apply to our situation.
They apply very much to your situation and you should read and understand them thoroughly.