I am writing this here because I am at a lose for words. I have been married now for 13 years. we have 2 beautiful children. But I have a wife that just does not want to fulfill he part of this marriage. my wife I feel is very lucky she does not have to go out and work. I take the blunt of the work load by working 2 \jobs. This is so that she can be home with our children. I have ask her why she cannot keep a clean household, cook balanced meals, go out together alone. I live in a pigsty. She goes out daily and goes shopping spending money before I even make it. I have put up with this for 5 years. Now I am getting burnt out from working so much overtime that I just cannot do it anymore. I finally closed our checking account and opened a new one in my name only to get our money situation back in order. We have absolutely no love life. When my days off come around I ask her if she would like to go out just the two of us and she says I am too tired. When I am home she goes to bed at 8pm. leaving me by myself. She doesn't even want me to sleep in the same bedroom with her.she has put my pillows on the couch for the past 3 1/2 years. I have suggested we go to a marriage counselor and she refuses. I am not going to those stupid people she replies. I have been going now for about 5 months by myself. The children can see that there is something wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel that I am being used. She will never just sit down and talk. and when we do talk and she hears something she doesn't like she sticks her fingers in her ears and starts saying " I am not listening to you LALALALALALALALALALALA.Even during the day when I come home from my school bus run she calls a friend and then leaves. "Sorry",I drive a school bus in the mornings and afternoons 7am to 9am,and 1pm to 3pm and work at the post office from 4pm to 1230am. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT I AM DOING WRONG? I am confused! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ October 23, 2001: Message edited by: bigk ]

The fingers in the ears thing? My H used to do that! UGH!<P>I think you need to post this on a couple of other boards here, namely General Questions II and Emotional Needs. You will get a lot more response over there.<P>Have you read all you can here about Plan A, Emotional Needs, Love Bank and Love Busters? There are also some very good articles as well. Read all that you can here to give you some clues on how to plan for the best outcome.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky