After reading the responses to a few letters on controlling spouses, I started to wonder if, indeed, my spouse is considered controlling or not. I always viewed him as such, but now I'm not so sure.
I used to have many friends, but now I don't have any. My husband detests every friend I've ever had. I could never do anything with them, and if I ever ventured to try it, my husband would not speak to me for a week. He got upset if I even talked to them on the phone.
If anyone ever babbles on about the pleasing looks of an actor, singer, etc... and I agree, my husband gets very upset. In fact, he reads everything out of context.
He storms around the house and pouts if he doesn't get sex when he wants it, but he would not touch me when I was pregnant with any of my children. He blatantly told me I was too fat. I gained 4 pounds my last pregnancy, but that was still too much for him. My weight has always been 95-100 pounds, except in pregnancy. He, on the other hand has gained 60 pounds in the last 8 months and is not pregnant!
I am very unhappy and depressed in my marriage, and I have been for a long time. Somewhere along the line, I lost myself. I have tried to assure him that I am not out looking for anyone else, I just need some friends, but he can't handle it.
I have much more to talk about, but I'll start out slowly. Someone please help me understand what it is I need to do.

Rollie,
This is the first time I've even visited this side of the board. Usually I'm in the recovery section under Infidelity.
Anyway, it does sound as if your H is controlling. Have you sought individual counselling? Marital Counselling? How about your family? Are they around for support?<p>Controlling behavior includes isolating the spouse from outside support. Have you checked in with any local womaen's shelters for support?<p>Good luck..if you don't find me here look in recovery. I can always use an extra friend too.
T