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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 71
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 71 |
HI Don,t know if I'm in the right place but here goes. H of 30yrs starts new job away from home next A confesses Kids disown him unless he ends it says he cant. OW moves in with him 9mths now. He has been paying all bills now we both have solicitors wants house sold etc. Problem I have no contact now after initially begging pleading etc.We now just get solicitors letters He has made no mention of D. BUT tells me never coming back Sends cheque each mth with note asking how I am doing hopes I am well etc. No contact is driving me mad. after each sol. letter I go DOWN always come Friday & I have week/end to go insane. Do i reach out one last time? He knows I only want him back IS IT TIME TO ASK WHAT HE WANTS [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ December 02, 2001: Message edited by: naej ]</p>
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
Wow, I'm not sure what to say but wanted to bump this up for more advice.<p>I think he's made it obvious what he thinks he wants. I say ask him for a divorce and see if that wakes him up.<p>Let me know.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 50
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 50 |
I feel for you! Don't---repeat DON'T ask for divorce unless that's what you really want. It will only take away any guilt he might have with the OW and make him fly into her arms. I know, because I have been the OW in the past!!!<p>I'm no expert and don't know how familiar you are with Plan A or Plan B but please check them out before you do anything drastic.<p>Why not respond to his request for how you are doing with a sweet note saying that you appreciate thoughtfulness in asking. Thank him for his financial support and ask him how he is doing. <p>These affairs do usually end in time. Things may not be as rosey with OW as you think they are. Time and patience often will out.<p>Good luck. I will pray for you.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 71
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 71 |
Dear inthedark, amillion thanks for your post. So bad this wek/end heard H is going to OW family for C,MAS, althou I was told OW mum will have nothing to do with her I know don,t believe what u hear, BUT goes over and over in my head. Can;t give up / cant go on. Will never ask for D but everyone says do it. OW gave up home for H. First time ever after many A,s have to say she has a better standerd of living with H than ever did before. Think she sees this as her last chance, More pain they I can live with 14mths is along time to keep hoping esp as now I am trying to go dark but when I don;t even hear his voice cant tell you. thanks for listening don;t know of any BB in uk so . and so B** proud I try to let the world see How strong I am. all lies I am a wreck.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 50
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 50 |
I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time especially a this time of year. What a rotten shame! <p>I know it's hard, but there will be other (better) Christmases. Are you going to spend it alone or do you have family or friends to "celebrate" with ? I know what you are saying about it going over and over in your head. Sometimes I take out my frustrations by doing some kind of physical exercise or volunteer work. Work on YOU---Your H has his head in the fog. Try to put your efforts on you.<p>Believe it or not, this A will end in time. Let me know how you are doing. I care.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755 |
Hi, YOu are in the right place. Plan A if you can. Read the book by Dr. Harley.. How to survie an affair.. soon if you haven't. Be nice to him every chance you get. I know it sounds crzy but sometimes I pretend H is at work late... or on business trip.. it helps. I keep in mind how much he loves me... I iknow he really does, and act that way... <p>I am lucky that OW is now mostly gone... hopefully all gone.. but I do not know... my H is being somewhat secretive now.<p>I still get very sad and depressed. h is guilty , but says he does not need to be responseible for my depression.. says I shoul d call dr. for more meds when I get upset... he does not want to hear about it. This hurts.<p>At least he started listening some. Let your H feel the guilt.<p>Take care of hyou more than you ever have.<p>Lisa
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