Hi seem to have posts in different places (fairly new to bb so thought it might be better to start again-
H and I sep. Aug 00- conf to A. OW moved in with H March 01. M 30yrs. 3 Grown-up kids.Nov,H wanted House sold, I got solicitor--so did he. Did all wrong things before found board,me who begged him to move OW out of village. Kids refuse to have any contact til OW ended. I believe H is having MLC classic case from all I have read here* even to red sports car. Been dark for 2 mths but sent email card few days ago-had reply card with thinking of u all at C,mas as always. Said he had been ill coudn,t haddle my letters pushed him to edge--doesn,t want confrontations over ph. so by not contacting me he has been able to manage his own sanity and give me space. WHAT TO THINK AND DO NOW-I beg,pleaded,cried- O/D,d several times hospital etc- but coping better now started yoga H family have no contact with us as can see no wrong in Son, can,t take sides etc, lunched with them 4 wks after OW moved in we found that hard to swallow.Been tog, all our lives, grew up tog. Want to save my marriage! H says loves us all BUT in love with OW. (OW D many yrs ago 2kids son lives with his dad since split, OW gave her D her Rented house when she left to be with my H. She also had lots of As with MM but never left for them. I knew her worked as barmaid/school dinner lady at school I work at. all knew about A befor me- made no secret of fancying my H infact we H&I used to joke about it. Truly blieve we grew apart as kids left he had Stress at work job change after 25yrs,NEVER susp OW. SHE even asked me if I could do her dinner duty one day so she could meet my H for day out! (I am not D/Lady) but had helped her out in past. At a loss how to continue H asked that I do not email him, and told him I will not contact him again but when he is ready to talk I am here. Do you think its guilt, light at end of tunnel??? He is not a bad man but do not know him now.SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT DESPERATE FOR ADVISE-NEED to do right thing after all other mistakes. PLEASE READ AND REPLY.Thanks NAEJ

Hello Naej and welcome to Marriage Builders. <p>I am sorry you have occasion to be here and for your pain. Have you read the Marriage Builders articles yet? This web page has the articles I am referring to.
Here is a general welcome to Marriage Builders.<p>If he does not want you to contact him, you probably should do as he wishes. Please read through the articles and you will have more guidance than I can provide. <p>The General Questions II board usually has more traffic. You may want to post there.

naej,
Read up as much as you can about MB. According to MB, A will die sooner or later, you want to be ready to be there to catch your H. If A is not, you force it with plan B. If plan B fails at least you know you could move on.<p>LB's boundry is drawn by H not you, so if H said stop you stop it. Find another avenue of plan A. IMHO, write the last note, search plan A letter in GQ II and gave it to him. Basically it is a love letter and you could add that you are honoring his request but will be there if H needs you, say all the thing that you want to say w/ love & care. It is you last letter for now so give your heart out. It is not the intent to change your H mind !, only building a foundation.<p>Find a way to show your change(s), Live a sparate live for now but short on having relation & stay away from any "male". Be save.<p>Again, like Rascal says, you should post Q in GQ II or plan A/B. Yours is not resolving conflict but trying to save M.<p>Curious, which country do you live in ?.

Redhat just very quick reply getting ready to go away to my D for few days will read and digest your mail on my return. I live in England, Why do u ask?? spellings different? and I was trying to be so "American" Have a Happy Christmas to u all. Thanks for being my shoulder to cry on. Apart from my grown-up kids no family as such of my own. Naej.xxxx

naej,<p>I posted to you on GQII.<p>Hope you had a nice visit with your D.<p>Estes

Hi thanks to all who replied and for caring. Just got back from my daughters and I DID have a nice C,mas. Been reading posts but not acted on anything yet. No contact from H or my ILaws over holidays! I am surviving, hard today its H birthday and I haven,t sent a card.Been invited out for drinks today and for the first time in well over a yr, am seriously thinking of going. Big improvement there. Been searching for a draft letter to send to H just to say I let him go but don,t want it to sound like I am giving up on my M. Haven,t found a copy of a plan B letter. Will be back later got to get on with my day. My love to u all. naej.xx