My H and I have been together for 24 years. In the past 5, he's been constantly angry at me for things that I didn't even have intentions of but refuses to acknowledge this or his part in things. I don't feel I can have a different opinion than he does or do anything without "thinking" of him.
He says he has "built up" anger at me and last Sunday, after I disagreed with what he did to our daughter as punishment for parking in the wrong spot, he got furious mad, screamed profanities at me, told me to leave, said he wanted a divorce and even said he'd help me pack! (This was on monday morning).
I went to my parents and except for one voice message from him denying that he "kicked" me out but then saying that he thought a separation was a good thing, then a conversation that Wednesday when he blamed EVERYTHING on me, even that he "shouldn't LET ME make him that angry" that I caused him to blow up, etc etc and it was during this conversation on Wed., that I found out he had removed his wedding band when he went out. (he said he put it back on a few hours later) ... Unfortunately..
This past Saturday was my birthday. He did not call, refused my parents and childrens' invitation of coming over, wouldn't touch the piece of cake sent over to him but that evening, he sent a piece of jewelry via our daughter to me and gave the message, he "had it for about a month". No card, no talks of getting back together, nothing! (Actually, I found out he had bought a card but didn't give it to me -- it read something like "Have a good life!" Happy Birthday...
I went back to the house on Sunday night because of legal reasons and the hope he would want to work things out even though he didn't really say so but of course, I am hurt and angry over all he said and did all week. It seems I am always the one "giving in". He will not intitiate conversation without showing some sort of anger, still cusses alot (he used to get mad at people when they talked in front of me like this and now he does it all the time and even in front of our children)
Now, the lastest reason he has MORE anger to go with all the past angers is that I returned that piece of jewelry! He said he had a "good buy" on it and that he originally picked it out in love and that I should not have taken it back! He seems to not want to understand that my b/d came and went with his words of "divorce, separation, knowing he took his ring off, everything being all my fault" etc etc ringing in my ears and that giving me that gift that way was like kicking me when I was down! I cried everytime I thought of it! Not to mention how angry I am over his cruelness and blame!
To date, he has not apologized for ANYTHING, he did go see a dr and got some antidepressants but that was all, he refused until last night to see the counselors but then said he wanted me to make an appointment but you could tell it was like he was being "made" to do this. He really thinks he does no harm and things would be great except for me! He also does alot of things to show resentment -- leaving at dinner time, deliberately avoiding me in the house, refusing to have anything to do with me and showing all this by only doing HIS things. The only communcation is "anger" or angry looks.
His constant anger and blame to me have ruined so many days and holidays. I had so many plans for Dec and havent been able to do any of them. (I was going to have a party, decorate better than ever before, bake for everyone, etc etc!)
I am not perfect but his agner is always so out of porportion to the "crime" that I feel I am constantly walking on egg shells! He seems to always be expecting the worst and that it's always against him somehow!
Am I wrong to be mad at him over how he's treated me? Was I wrong to return the bracelet?
Please advise ASAP!
