Okay, I havent been on here for awhile. So, here goes the story once again: My H is 27, I am 30 and we been married 6 yrs together 7 yrs. Split up.....well this is #4. Got two wonderful boys ages 5 & 6.
We got back together from a 9 mo separation 5 mo ago. He then told me he may be a father to this 19 yr olds unborn child. Well, I got over that. I did what most wives would NOT do. I stuck by him, bought baby clothes and took the thought of having a new step child in the family. The baby came 2 months early. We were both there at the hosp. when she was born. She is the most beautiful little girl that I have ever seen! Well, she was almost 1 mo old before coming home. But, when she was a week old my H told me he didnt want us to go see her with him anymore (she was and hour away in a hosp). He went to see the baby and the girl 4 days out of the week and spent 3 days a week with the boys and I. It was getting harder for me at that time.
One day he came home and told me he was leaving as soon as the bills were caught up. He said it was because I was NOT a good house wife. I never have been in the years we been together.I got tired of him never being home so I packed his stuff up and loaded it in his car. When he got home late that night I demanded my car keys and house key. I told him I wanted him out so he could think about what he was doing.
He ran right into this girls arms. Telling everyone it was his baby. He dont call to check on his boys or check on them. He got them over the weekend, they loved it. But they came back with alot of info to tell me. It all hurt me! They said he told this girl he loved her and vice versa, kept on kissing her and had hickeys on his neck. ALL OF THAT was done in front of the boys!
Now, he told me "I love you, I just couldnt bare to see you hurt anymore". WHAT THE _____! He want to file bakruptsy and a divorce now too. He ALWAYS comes back and I do love him still. I cry myself to sleep everynight. Am I stupid to still HOPE?????
Ohhhh on top of that the DNA came back friday and guess what!!!!????!!! NEGATIVE!!! But, he is still saying its his baby girl and still is with the 19 yr old. He ALWAYS wanted a girl. PLUS, he didnt want no more kids and so I GOT FIXED!!! He NEVER got fixed! Any ideas what I should be doing???? HELP ME!!!

Oh man what a horrible situation to be in *hugs* I dont know what I would do if I were there but my instinct says to keep him out of your life, you deserve to be loved and repected and not put second as someone he can run to when things dont work with this girl, if he is not bahving properly in front of your children I would try to get some sort of custody agreement worked out so they arent forced to see their father with this woman, I am not sure if that is possible but the boys dont need that....I am so sorry you are going through this, I cant imagine the pain you must be feeling [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Thank you proudmommyof2,for responding. I just cant let him go! I know I need to, its just so hard. I am so confused right now. Anti-depressants that the doctor gave me make me worse. The boys are now sleeping with me at night. I feel so much better when they are close to me. The oldest cries in his sleep for his daddy. ITS JUST SO HARD!! I dont know why love has to hurt so much.
I know I just need to get on with my life without him. But, he will always be there. We do got kids together. I have finally let him see that I dont care that he is gone(but deep inside it hurts). The last few days that I have seen him, I just acted like I got on with my life. I think its getting to him. He doesnt see me cry anymore. I do up my hair and makeup everyday now too. I think he will realize what he has done, but by then it will be too late!
It just hurts me to see him spend more time with a child thats not blood, than his proven blood children. I never thought he would turn his back on his boys. He never did when we were separated the other times. I think that hurts me the most!!! Seeing our boys hurting!
I often thought of moving away with the boys, so I can make a fresh start. His family has ruined me in this town. But, I dont want to run from my problems anymore! Thxs again for responding.

UPDATE!!!!!
Okay! I think I am getting ready to go crazy! I got our family pictures back friday and All I did is cry. We looked so happy together in them, but yet we were not together when they were taking. We did it for our last time family pictures. But, tell me why we got just ours done without the boys? He took copies of the ones with and without the boys. Do I take that as he still has me in his heart?
I cant bare this pain anymore. I dont like this feeling I am having. I am trying to be strong for the boys. And try not to let them see my hurt. They are also hurting! Do I just give up on my love for him? Help I am going crazy!!!! [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]