I need some advice. I will first tell you some of our back ground. My wife and I met and married with in 3 months. I had been married before and I was NOT looking to get married that quik. When I met her I was totaly taken. and this (on my part) has not changed. When we agreed to marry, I had some issues from my first marriage. My child is one, her mom does not allow us to see each other, and the legal process is taking a very long time. Another is the fact my first wife and I were very active sexually. My wife has felt threatend by the entries of my feelings and actions with my first, and others ( after I was divorced, I kind of went on a sexual rampage. ) I let her read my journals, because I believed in being totaly open. Though I have come to realise that even then, I was what you term a "liar". I was afraid of the concequesces of telling the total truth. I was even one of those who was counceled to conseal things from her because it was normal and would not hurt her. Her thinking was wrong, that is what I was told. That was a disaster. Well there is one issue we had a very dificult problem with that I have since stopped. Truely stopped. But before this stopped, when it was still a very touchy issue, our son died. With the death of our son, and the advent of the problems, I attempted suicide. As you can figure this was a bad choice. And my relationship with my wife and my family is not the same. After I came home from the hospital, and soon after our son was burried, she got pregnant again. Now, my wife, has the worst time with pregnancies I've ever seen. (I have been around quite a few, not mine) She hurts, she is completely miserable. All the trouble listed in the pregnancy books, she experiences, with little of the positives. Through out the pregnancy, patialy because of the problems we had ( I do not now blame my wife for my suicide attempt, but I did then. That still erkes us both, and yes, she was very emotionaly abusive. But I was too, now that I read the articles. I have apologised so many times.) Both of our emotional accounts are so very low. The slightest thing will set her off, complaining, bringing up the past, calling me a liar and a fake. (I was but am no longer either of these.)I have hurt her so badly. We have hurt each other so badly. The Kicker is that she will only look at things that identify our problems, like this forum and books, when I almost force her to. If she does it when I ask it is without any enthusiasm at all. she is so needy right now, and I do not know how to give to her, i try, I don't get much back, I do get some support back, but not much, and of course she sees it as if she is giving all of her, and I am giving nothing. I think she is giving all she can give, and I don't know how to give her what she needs. She has told me, but it all comes out with acusations and attacks, and of course, I find myself fighting back. She is at the end of her rope, understandably, but I have to do some giving without getting. I need help. Does this situation sercomvent the principle of Giver/Taker? She is still pregnant, and it is the last trimester and she is very unbalanced emotionaly and hormonaly, how do we do this.. It is so complicated. I am not a jerk anymore. I love her so much, and It is not just for our children I want to stay together. I know her and love her because of that. She doesn't think I do. I guess I just know the ways she did meet my needs. I must not know the "real" her.. I am shooting in the dark here, I need help. FOr give the way this is written I am writing from work with lots of interuptions..