Hello! I am seeking advice and prayers. My wife and I have been married for 5 years. We have a lovely 3 year old daughter whom we both adore. We are facing the first real hard decision of our marriage. <p>Last year, after 6 years of working overseas on consulting assignments, I accepted a job in a management training program with an international company. As part of this job, I will be transferred back overseas. I've recently learned that the company wishes to transfer me in June rather in September, which is what I was hoping to negotiate. I've been told in no uncertain terms that I am to go in June. <p>This has greatly distressed my wife. When we came back to the U.S., we enrolled her in graduate school. For the past year, she has been living part-time with my daughter and I while commuting to attend a prestigiou Ivy League University. I have encouraged her in this endeavor, and have seen how she has grown during this period. Unfortunately, I think this has also helped her to grow in a direction that has put us on a collision course. I am trying desperately to show her that we are not in some zero sum game, that we can both get what we want professionally and in our marriage, but that each one of us is going to have to sacrifice something in the short-term so that I can keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. If this means that we need to be apart for a year, then we need to learn to live with it. She doesn't see it that way. <p>Further, with regard to our daughter, while I am certain that she is a wonderful mother and can take care of her, I have suggested that it might be easier for her to finish her degree if our daughter is to come with me overseas. My wife could focus 100% on her studies, we would have an excellent child care situation, and I would be home to take care of my daughter every night. <p>Last night, we had a long telephone conversation in which she threatened divorce. I was quite distressed during our telephone conversation when she seemed to be using my daughter as a potential weapon against me. <p>What can we do to resolve this conflict? I think there is room to resolve this to mutual satisfaction. She seems to think not - that it is my job vs. our marriage and never the twain shall meet.

jrduck, I think I would start looking for another job. Distance in a marriage is not good. It leaves too many doors open. I think you and your wife need to look at what is best for your daughter. I think two parents together loving and growing together is what's best. You need to take a long hard look at your family, your marriage and your job and decide what's most important and what's best fo it.

Thanks timh: Believe me, this is something I have been doing, but to date I haven't had success and the clock is ticking.

JrDuck You need to weigh your options, Job....
Wife and Child... I'm sure yoou have your answer
It seems unfair for her to put you in that position but also think about her feelings.. I was a single dad for 2 yrs rasing my 3yr old daughter (until I met my new wife) and being a single or semi-single parent is a hard job.