My wife and I are going through the most difficult time in our 5 years of marriage. Without going into a long history, we met while I was working for the US Government in Russia. Later, after we were married and had our first daughter, we moved to Ukraine with my job. We spent 2 years there. <p>Two years ago, we began planning for a return to the US in connection with my job. It was understood that we would spend 12 to 18 months in the US before I would again go overseas as part of my job. We saw this as the perfect opportunity for my wife to go to graduate school. We recognized at some point we would have to be temporarily separated if she was to complete her degree. <p>Well, now we have been hit with reality. I came on a 3 week business trip to the African country and was told that the management wants me to come in June. My wife and I had been hoping to hold this off until December at the latest and September at the earliest. I had told my wife that I would do the best that I could to come to agreement on this. However, where I work is a lot like the military. While they will accomodate as much as they can, at some point they want you on that plane! <p>In any case, June has become the BIG problem. We had discussed December in a way that my wife would compress her studies and finish and then we would all be together. That is still possible, but it would mean a 4 month separation. I have worked on this end to find her employment her for the summer so that we can all be together. It seems this just won't work for her. <p>I've told her several times that if I had a $70K job offer tomorrow or even yesterday, there is no question I would throw this job in the can to stay with her and my daughter. At the same time, I woke up the other morning feeling angry. I thought to myself, "How selfish could she be?" I've spent the last year helping to put her through grad school (so that she would have marketable skills as we move around the world) and have taken sole responsibility for my daughter, and because the world we had organized needs to change to make some small accomodation for our long term future she doesn't want to compromise. <p>I am committed to my marriage, to my wife, and daughter, and want to work through this, but I don't how much more I can give. Everything I do in her eyes is always wrong; it is never enought; I "don't stand up for my rights;" yet she makes no effort to understand that I am trying to balance my career and my family and that this is sometimes very very difficult and may require some short term sacrifices if we are to stay together. <p>Further, she has built this myth about her that she has done everything herself, without help from anyone. When I gently remind her that no one gets where they are without help, and that it sometimes doesn't hurt to acknowledge that, she spit back in my face that she doesn't need to give me gratitude for helping her through graduate school, she is keeping an account in her head of every penny she's spent and will pay it back! She doesn't seem to understand that I do not care how much it cost! I want her to succeed and to do well because I thought (wrongly perhaps?) that over the long term her professional achievement would strengthen our marriage. I guess I was wrong!