Here's my story. I am 25 years old and I married my high school sweetheart last June. We were best friends for a few years in high school. Then we started becoming attracted to each other so we started fooling around. Next thing we were boyfriend/girlfriend. She went to college in the northeast and I went to college in the DC area. Because we had such a strong foundation, we made it through college together. Of course we had our break up a few times, but it was always gonna come back to us. The day I proposed was at that time the happiest day of my life. We were engaged for 6 months. Her family loved me so much. Not just her immediate family, but her cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. I felt like they loved me independently of my fiance. And I loved them too. We got married and we were doing fine until the end of November. Here's where my problem comes in. I have a gambling problem. I gambled for a little while in high school and then a lot in collge. My wife now, my girlfriend then always suspected that I gambled but I always told her no and she wanted to believe me so it never really was an issue. In November, I came home and I told her that I have a gambling problem and that I lost $13,000. Truthfully, that is all I lost. No more, no less. That is a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of life, it really isn't. Anyway - I went to one GAmblers Anonymous meeting a week. All of my paychecks were directly deposited into her checking account that I had no access to. But when I got an expense check from my company, it was handed to me. SO without hesitation, I cashed the check, and gambled it. I bet on sports. Then to cover it up, I lied about it. And as a gambler if you lie, you gotta stick to it. I used to figure that unless you are caught in the act, you didn't do it. That's how sick I was. ANyway - February 26, she told me that she needed 2 weeks to herself, so she went to live back home with her parents. Mind you we both grew up in the same town. I was very upset and I asked her not to leave. I told her that the NCAA basketball tournament was coming up and that is going to be my most difficult time. I asked he not to leave. But she left. To try and deter her from leaving, I told her that if she leaves, don't call me, don't email me, don't think of me. I did that selfishly. But she left and I stayed in our house waiting for her to come home. She never came. After the 2 weeks were up, I called her and I told her I missed her and I can't wait for her to come home. She told me she doesn't know if she is coming home or not. I said what do you mean you may not be coming home. So to make an extremely long story a little shorter, I have waited for 6 weeks for her to come back. I tried talking to her mom, she won't speak to me. I tried talking to her father, he won't speak to me. I called her sisters, they don't want to speak to me. Everyone who loved me now doesn't. Since she left, I have made it to 4 Gamblers Anonymous meetings per week, and 1 group therapy in a hospital, and 2 sessions with my therapist. A week! Whether with her or withour her, I am truly committed to making myself better. I have not gambled nor have I watched any sports. My school won the NCAA baskteball tournament, I didn't watch. I am doing everything I possibly can to make myself better for myself and for my wife. I love my wife with all my heart. And my heart is on the floor because she wants to get a divorce. I cry myself to sleep every single night. She is everything to me and I am miserable that I am going to lose the best thing that ever happened to me. And there are so many small things that I get caught up in. Like she is a teacher and I love the fact that she has my last name. She won't have it next year. I love tha fact that I am her experience sexually. That is vey special to a man. That is probably going to change. She tells me that she loves and that she will miss me and that she loves to be with. When we see each other we are even intimate. She tells me she wants to re-marry me again in 2 or 3 years if I get better. She says I am not ready to be a husband. There is so much more to this story. Please email me back someone and give me some advice. PLEASE HELP ME!

I'm afraid all you can do at this point is continue to stay sober and prove to her that you are really trying.<p>Why didn't you call your w or your sponsor immediately after receiving the check? In future, can you have it mailed to her instead of given to you? It might be embarrassing to explain but a friend will understand.<p>Continue to work your steps...diligently. You will find comfort in them. Have you confessed about the expense check? You must be honest with her about it. And does she understand that gambling addiction is a disease? <p>Rely on your group and your sponsor...by helping you they are helping themselves. Pray to your higher power. Give it over to that power. Have you gotten your one month chip yet??? You should be proud. And take it just one day at a time. <p>Please let us know how you are doing. And consider us sponsors, too. We're here 24/7 to talk. God Bless You.

Keep on the program. There are some positives to your story. Your wife is taking strong action now. That's better than waiting years untill all her love for you is gone. It means that if you truely help yourself and get yourself better you may have a lot to salvage.<p>Remember, that it's not your wife, her friends or her family that's taking this from you. It's gambling. "In the grand schemem of things" you lost much more than 13,000. You lost your way of life. If you stick to your program, you may get a second chance at it and that means a lot.
You still love her and she still loves you. If she see's you make changes then perhaps she will be able to trust you again. People can support you, but you will have to make the changes yourself. Lot's of people have stayed straight. You can do it too.