My husband asked me for a divorce on March 7, 2001. He stated he loves me, but not in love with me and has little or no passion for me and that 12 of the 14 years of our marriage he has been lying to himself and me about loving me, but he tells me I'mthe best wife and mother. I just had a baby in Dec 2001. In Nov. 2001 we went to counseling and he told the couselor he has always wanted to be with a lighter complexion (african american woman), I am darker complexion and so is my husband. I have noticed him in the past on the computer and when I come in the room he shuts it down. I also found pictures of his gential area on his laptop, which he said he did not sent them to anyone but was fooling around with the camera. I thought he might me sending it to someone. Back in 1995 my husband had an affair and here recently talks to women in other states, we asked why? he states he talks to them about me. However, he never talks to me. He is a minister and states he upholds the sancity of marriage, but when I tell him God can resurrect his dead heart and our dying marriage, but states he does not want to.
We still live together with our 5 kids. He still sleeps with me and we still have sexual relations. He said he is staying to save money to move out in May, 2002. Here lately he has been cooking breakfast and dinner for me and the kids. My husband is highly sexual, lately we have been talking about our fantasy of sex with each other. I wonder if my husband is getting passion and love mixed up, and that his sexual passion is gone for and is he trying now to rekindle it without telling me. He seems to want to be around me more, which was my complaint before he ask for a divorce. by the way, I not giving him a divorce, but if he wants it he needs to do it.<p>I sometime think he is not sure he wants a divorce, we seem to have better sexual relations then before. My husband is 41 years old and I'm 42. I have continued to allow him to have sexual relation with me in hopes that his passion or love would return. He does not allow me to initiate the sexual encounter and I asked him why, he said it turns him on and he likes to do that for me. However, my self esteem is shot because of some of the things he has said to me.<p>I have become like Shelock Holmes in my own house, because I can't trust him. I love him and want my marriage to last until death do us part.<p>Sorry, if this rambling, I trying say everything before he come in the room.<p>My questions:<p>Should I allow him to have sex with me? P.S I don't believe he is seeing anyone, he comes home after work every day and the weekends he has a little league team that he coaches with our son, and sundays since he ask for a divorce he stays home from church and cooks dinner for us. When I went our pastor about his request for divorce, our pastor told him he could hold ministry duties until we reconcil. <p>Can his lost of "being in love and little or no passion for me" have to do with sex.<p>Can a person live, eat, sleep, breath and have a 3 month old child not be in love or never loving some one.<p>Can it be he is not sure what he wants and is affraid to say? I also noticed when people call our home and ask about things, he says everything is fine.<p>What else should I be doing as a wife hoping he changes his mind along with praying?<p>Is he just feeling gulity? He never like to tell me his true feeling on certain issues.<p>confused:
