Hi. I need some advice. I have been married for 19 years. During this time my H has had an affair (for 3 years) which ended about a year or so ago. But since the affair ended, he has become more and more engrossed in playing golf...to the point it has become an obsession. (He played a lot while he was in the other relationship, but never to this extent.) Less that a month ago, I had major surgery on my hip, which has left me unable to walk without assistance and has left me a bit dependent with regards to getting around...I'm not able to drive yet & I need to use a walker at all times. Every Saturday since the surgery (including the Saturday I was in the hospital) he leaves me alone to go play golf. He leaves about 7:00 a.m. & I won't see him again until after sunset. His golf buddy calls, and he's gone! Today I went a little ballistic! I am tired of being stuck here alone, day after day. He works during the week, and spends each weeknight and all day Sunday at church. He says that he needs some "ME" time and he needs Saturday to get away. But in the meantime, what happened to the "WE" time? I can't make him understand that to me, this game is like the OW all over again...(never mind the parallel that she now lives in Augusta - the home of the Masters tournament). He lives, breathes and talks golf all of the time. If we talk about going on vacation, the first think out of his mouth is "is there a golf course around?" The only magazines in the house are golf related. The only clothing he buys is from a pro shop. When he does come home, he grabs the remote and turns on the golf channel. All I want is for him to spend a Saturday or two with me...away from the golf course (oh by the way, I offered to go with today, but he said the course they were playing didn't allow non-players---excuses, excuses, EXCUSES!) Am I being unreasonable?

I posted a golf thread today too....and i've been married 19 years too. But with my h....if it wasn't golf, it would be hunting, fishing etc....all of his recreational activities seem to exclude me...even when i try so hard to learn and participate. it's not really the golf so much as it is a priority issue....i don't feel like a priority in my h's life....and really....i'm not. i know how this feels [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi
I too have a husband who is selfish. SO wrapped up in himself!!! In the winter its skiing, in the summer its work and golf, fishing, or whatever. He has two beautiful little girls that he doesn't spend time with and well us time...whats that??? He thinks that quality time with us is going out to eat maybe once a couple of months together, or he will say "i spent this day and this day at home" although those days he spent out in the garage having a few drinks with a friend (or by himself) or out in the yard. IT just doesn't cut it. I work full time too (and he has winters off!) and i make every effort to make my kids and him my priority...its obvious its not his. Where will we be when the kids are gone?
I don't have any advice, just wanted to let you know i know how it feels and hugs to you.

I would be really interested in what we should do here too... With my honey buns its the computer. Or, more specifically computer games. We've been seperated and the kids and I are moving back in within a month, but I know that just watching him come home and choose the games (for down time) over us, that really hurt.
I do think a husband should get time to himself, (goodness, we all should.. but life's not fair when it comes to us mommies with little ones!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] )
I did read about a number of solutions in the articles... but they all depend upon a man who sees its a issue, and WANTS to work on it! LOL So, my big question to add in to this thread... HOW do we say it, so the man can understand it, that this IS a big issue to us?!! [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]