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#57962 05/08/02 07:22 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1
D
Junior Member
Junior Member
D Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1
My wife may have fallen out of love with me. I can't totally blame her. She is very successful and has been supporting myself and our son mostly on her own for a few years now. I have a couple of part-time jobs that are not very steady. She wants us to buy a house more than anything in the world. My lack of work and her desire to make me happy has damaged our credit making it impossible to get financing. It took so much for me to realize how unfair it has been for her, that she doesn't know if our marriage can be saved. I'm mending my ways. I'm out every day searching for a job that will pay what I think she expects from me, but with this emotional trauma killing me, it feels hopeless. There is nothing I want more than to fix our marriage and regain her love. She's the most wonderful person I've ever met. She says that she can't offer any promises about what is going to happen between us, which I can understand, since she doesn't know if it's too late for us. She says that she's still faithful, and I trust her, but in this condition I've become suspicious of every little thing and everyone. It's impossible to give her the space she's says that she needs because it's shredding me inside. She had decided to go to counseling on her own and then if that helps then marriage counseling with me.
I am a good father and a good man, and besides my career deficiency and poor financial state, I believe I am a good husband as well. I am willing to do ANYTHING to salvage this marriage. I'm so upset I haven't been able to keep any amount of food down for 5 days now.
Besides securing a job, what else can I do to rescue my marriage from myself?

#57963 05/08/02 09:48 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,190
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,190
You don't have to rescue the M alone, my friend.<p>You are definitely on the right track. Keep posting here, read all the "newbie" stuff, ask questions, share your feelings and try to relax (I know--easier said than done.)<p>My knowledge of Plan A is lacking so I will leave it to others to help you if that is most appropriate.<p>Is there any possiblity you also could get individual counselling? If finances are an issue, perhaps a pastor could help? It is a worry that your W won't go directly for couple counselling but lots of us here are praying people so that's what we will ask for--that your W will include you and her desire will be for a better M.<p>Is there a specific obstacle such as health, availability to your finding and keeping work? It is hard on a M for the wife to be the breadwinner. Let her know how very much you love and appreciate her. You'll be surprised what a few nice surprises like taking on a procrastinated chore or going the extra mile doing something to please her will do for your marriage. <p>All the best to you.


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