Talking to my self, I hope he doesn’t answer <p>· Katrina has become very distant to me over the last year, I feel I have to work twice as hard to gain her love
I am very worried about the direction our marriage is going in, I still love her and want to help her, but she does not take help to well.<p>· Found enough things on the Internet to know she is having intimate emotional, sexual affairs with other men.It is not just small chat and pictures any more. Her next step if she has not already done so is to meet one of these men in person and start a real life affair. She has brought back all the bad feelings that I had when I found out the last time she was having an Internet affair (or what ever she wants to call it) with the other guy.<p>· I have to end this crap be for it kills me, I am not sleeping much, always angry, jealous and have very little trust in her any more. It will be hard because she is so strong willed that she will never be able to admit that it is a problem even though she has said it is in the chat rooms to others. She will think I am controlling her life and being her father or worse. She does not realize that what she is doing is a form of cheating and being unfaithful to me.<p>· I went on the Internet today and confronted one of the men in her chat room hoping to get things rolling one way or the other. He denied even knowing her. He immediately told her I was in her chat and what I was doing (it was OK with me) that night she feed the kids early and cooked me a very nice meal then ask me what I was doing and if it was me. I told her yes and that I was feed up with the Internet and was at the end of my rope. She told me she went in because she needed other adult stimulation (I didn’t realize that intimate affairs with other men is adult stimulation). She felt that I was dropping a lot on her all at once and was mad and changed the subject away from the real problem.<p>· She was making a very big effort not go on the Internet with me around, I knew it was hard for her because she became more distant and there was more of uneasiness between us. She made sure she told me that she was not going off the internet two days later, I don’t think she listed to what I said and how mush it was hurting me and our marriage. We made love a couple time after that it was like she was not with me, she seemed to put herself somewhere else I felt like I rapped her, I feel like ****.<p>· I found another box she forgot to close today just confirming to me that other men are sharing my bed emotionally and the Internet was destroying our marriage. She has left about 5 or 6 boxes open in the last six months. It makes me sick that I have to compete with other men for my own wife. I am ready to through the ****ing computer out the window and leave, maybe this will wake her up to what she is about to loose, (or maybe she wants me to leave so she can pursue the other men). <p>· I confronted her tonight about her life style and that I did not want to share our bed with other men any more. Told her if she does not go off the Internet our marriage would not last. I let her know that for the last two years I have been angry, jealous and have lost most of the trust between us and I can’t go another day like this. She said she would go off the Internet and end the relationships she has in the chat rooms. I knew it would be hard for her and I am not sure how it will end up but it has to be better then the last year. Unfortunately I am the last person she would come to for help and I am the one who loves her the most.<p>· I decided to go camping with Jack my son this weekend so she would not have me around and have a more open area to think about thing. I am not going to recognize our anniversary this year for I can’t see any reason to celebrate; I just want to forget about last year.<p>· Today she was very quiet, I felt I should just stay away from her and give her as mush space as possible to think. She came up to me and told me she was angry with me but she felt what I did was for the best. She also compared me to being a warden in her life. (If she new what she really put me through in the last year I don’t think she would have said that). I knew it would get worse be for it got better and she would be mad at me for what I am trying to do for us. I hope it works out for both of us.<p>· Katrina needs someone to talk to so she can relate with someone out side of our box. I think Donna would be the perfect person, they seem to be able to talk about anything. She has also gone through her our problems with food and marriage. I have a lot of respect for Donna and think she could help Katrina feel better with her self. I do not want to contact her because if Katrina found out she would become stubborn and not talk to her. I am at a cross road in what to do, I will think on it this weekend camping. I do know doing nothing is not an option at this point.<p>
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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>She told me she went in because she needed other adult stimulation (I didn&#8217;t realize that intimate affairs with other men is adult stimulation). <hr></blockquote>Of course, affairs are 'adult stimulation'--just not an acceptable kind. If she needs 'stimulation', she needs to get off the internet and interact with real people---you, your son, friends. The internet is a false world and the 'relationships' made there aren't real.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>· I found another box she forgot to close today just confirming to me that other men are sharing my bed emotionally and the Internet was destroying our marriage. She has left about 5 or 6 boxes open in the last six months. <hr></blockquote>I think she is leaving them open on purpose, either consciously or subconsciously. Perhaps she wants you to see them because a jealous reaction is better than no reaction?
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I decided to go camping with Jack my son this weekend so she would not have me around and have a more open area to think about thing. I am not going to recognize our anniversary this year for I can&#8217;t see any reason to celebrate; I just want to forget about last year.
<hr></blockquote>If you are gone all weekend, then that just gives her more time on the internet, doesn't it? I don't think you should cancel the camping with Jack, perhaps ask K to come along. And I think you should acknowledge the anniversary--it;s an important date that you share with K. And an opportunity to show that you do love her and want to work thru this.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>. She came up to me and told me she was angry with me but she felt what I did was for the best. She also compared me to being a warden in her life. <hr></blockquote>She sounds like a rebellious child here. Of course, she's angry, you've ended her 'harmless fun'. She doesn't see what harm it's doing to you.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Katrina needs someone to talk to so she can relate with someone out side of our box. I think Donna would be the perfect person, they seem to be able to talk about anything. <hr></blockquote>Agree but think she should be talking to a professional therapist/counselor. I don't know who Donna is or if she falls into this category but I think you need to see a marriage counselor for help with this...someone who is unbiased and has had training dealing with these issues.<p>Good luck. Post back and let us know how it's going.

I agree completely with Frankymydears. I don't have much to ad except that I was one who was once "addicted" to online chat to find fulfillment and the BEST thing I did was to get away from it. Not an easy task.<p>Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get rid of the computer. Just a thought. Remove the temptation.<p>Good for you for pursuing a resolution.....maybe you could leave the marriage builders website open on the computer with a particular thread open that may catch her attention?