I've been married 6years. BEFORE marriage.. way before marriage, 8years ago now, my now spouse and i (i broke up with him) the reasons list goes on forever. in that time, we went to counseling to figure out how to better ourselves,etc. within that time however, while i considered us apart, i slept with someone else. the minute it started, i stopped it, and have regreted since. i have never told my spouse. this last weekend, for some unknown reason, he brought it up. he pushed and pushed. i kept avoiding and saying no.. i didn't do a thing. he kept saying, just tell me, i know you did.. just tell me. i was thinking to myself, he must know. so i told him. well, that was 8 years ago (on a break) pre engagment, pre marriage...and now my life is in shambles. 6years of GREAT married life, 1 beautiful 3yr old son and I feel like I just threw my whole life away. where do i go from here, does anyone have any insight at all? thanks in advance.

MrsB96,
It takes a lot of courage for a woman to admit her own faults and I salute for that. In my standards, I'd rather take the pain by telling the truth than to avoid suffering by lying. But in our society, the one you didn't know will not hurt you, and I hate myself for being honest too. If your husband is matured enough and really loves you, he will forgive and forget about everything. Love will cover multitude of sins.
Don't feel sorry for what you have said to him. You know your husband better. Again, if he really loves you, he will stay.
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To me it seems strange that he would be willing to throw 6 years of marriage away for something that happened before you were married - and the 2 of you weren't even together at the time.

I would suggest giving him some time to absorb what happened. Most likely he will eventually forgive you. But don't be too hard on yourself and don't let him take it too far either.

It takes a lot to tell the person that you love and care about that you have had an intimate moment with another person. I feel like this it was what 8 years ago a couple of years ago? If he knew he couldn't handle the news he should not have asked you and kept on pressuring you. If he really wants to work through all this he should be able to get passed it and move on and continue with the life you had before he found out about the other person. The only thing I can say about you is that if you are willing to hang in there stay there. I can't understand why he would be so upset, is he hiding something that he has done during that time frame? Maybe he feels guilty because of what has transpired between the two of you before the separation. Maybe he is feeling in the back of his mind he shouldn't have let you leave, you both should have tried working through it. I know sometimes distance is between two people could be the best thing, but you have to be mentally ready and able to accept what could happen during the separation.

Welcome to MB,
You have come to a good place where lots of people who have been there are willing to take the time to respond and help.

I would suggest that you move this post to the Infidelity section under General Questions. You will not get many responses here and most of the people with specific help in your situation will be found hanging around over there.

Prayers to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thank you to you all who replied. My H is still out of town on a business trip, and will return tonite. I'm nervous as can be, and just pray he says, "we can work through this." I think the same as you all, that he is making me feel guilty for something he may have already done. I'm not pushing anything..see where this road takes me. Thanks for the info on which board to post on, I was in a daze on my first trip to MB, I will post on GQ, and see where that takes me. Many thanks again..