I used to come to this site about 3 years ago. It got me through some really bad times at the beginning of my marriage. My marriage is in trouble again, and now I realize that our previous problems were nothing.
We now have a toddler and a baby due in Dec. My husband comes from a history of divorce and alcoholism, I from a strong Catholic family that is very active in Marriage Encounter.
My husband drinks a lot, and feels that it is unreasonable for me to expect him to come home at night before 10p.m. He says that I need to grow up because I want him at home instead of eating alone, and sleeping alone and raising our son alone. He thinks that because he has stopped going to the bar that my issues with his drinking should have stopped. Now he drinks with friends at a mechanics shop one of the guys owns.
Last night we argued, because I was trying to tell him how I feel and he didn't like what I was saying so he manipulated the situation by becoming angry and storming out. When he came back, he told me that I had to get out by tomorrow, but that our son was staying with him. That crumbled my resolve to stand my ground and I found myself pleading with him to work on this. I am still in the house but now I am questioning whether I am to blame for all of this.
Right now I am terrified, of what is happening with my marriage, how the stress is affecting my pregnancy and more importantly, how we might be affecting our son. My husband blames everything he does wrong on his childhood. He says he doesn't get scared or need anyone because he learned not to. (I know it isn't true b/c he used to need me). I think I could handle losing my husband, but not my son. I know that in court I would end up with him. But I am terrified of what this is doing to he an I.
Am I expecting to much? Am I to demanding, to immature? I am 30 years old, I work full time an hour from home, I have my own home business, I take care of the bills, the housework, the yard work, the garden, the checkbook, I play with, feed, bath, diaper and love on my son and some how manage to take care of myself and I am 5mo pregnant. Is it immature to expect my husband to be there when I have happy news, sad news, a bad day, when I cook supper, when I am tired or sick, when I need his arms around me, when I want a break to go out with the girls, when I need him physically? Is it wrong for me to feel that I can go to him when I am upset and get a reasonable conversation instead of a world war? I have friends and I have my son, but I am so terribly lonely. I need someone to share my life with. Instead I end up feeling like I am completely wrong and unreasonable. Wondering if this is all just because I have some mental instability that I am unaware of.
I apologize for my rambling. I have so much that I need your advice on, but I am a mess right now and I am having difficulty getting my thoughts in order. Can anyone please offer some words of wisdom. My world is crumbling around me and my children are the ones that it is falling on.
