I typically haven't gotten much feedback, but yet I'll post again anyhow... (hint)

Separation, 1.5 months and counting... Last weekend we spent four wonderful days together. First time since separation that I really have enjoyed life in general. It all exploded come Sunday evening... We didn't speak much until Tuesday evening. I wasn't in a good frame of mind, due to some job related issues... The conversation turned to what was going on w/ me, how I felt and so on... I was reluctant to open up, but finally exposed some of myself. She had asked for me to come over and do some minor work on her car that evening, keep in mind it was 10:30pm already... I said that I didn't feel like doing it then... She basically terminated the conversation. Not happy w/ being hung up on once again, I called her to ask her if she only called to request that I do something for her. We talked for awhile and to make a long story short, she said that she was on her way over.

Once she arrived, I wasn't much for words due to the events of the day... Early in her presence, she asked the "do you want me here" question, which I felt was her leaving herself an out... We talked some and then laid down to bed. Ten minutes later, she's up and out the door. That made me angry.

I was at a point where I truly needed her compassion and companionship. It seemed to me that she "dangled the carrot", then took it away. I was quite broken...

Next day, she e-mails me @ work... Can you work on my car tonight? (Reluctantly) Yes. She came by, I worked on it (still not wanting to talk much). When I finished, I proceeded w/ some stuff that I had to do around the house... She gets mad and leaves because "watering the plants are more important than spending time w/ me..."

Reacting, my weakness, I started in on what I consider the "convience" turn in our relationship. It seems to me that she appears when there is something that I can offer her. Several comments have been made in the past few weeks, that "if we can have a good time, and not be serious"... then we can spend time together.

Yes, I like to spend time together and have good times, but there is a lot of aftermath from the separation that I have been left to deal with. Quite frankly, I was left holding the bag... All bills, maintenance, etc... She just up and moved and her attitude has been that if I don't want the property such as house, etc., just sell it... While at the same time telling me she is working on herself so that she can achieve her goal of getting back together.

Am I too far off labeling this as a "relationship of convenience"? (What does that actually mean?) I would appreciate anyones EXPERIENCES and so on, but please hold up on ADVICE.

Try posting this in the Emotional Needs Section. Most people post there regardless of their issue and you will definately get more feedback there.

Well, it's very difficult to get into everthing that's going with that. I certainly am unable to understand what lead to this. At this point, it seems she's interested in satisfying some self interests. Maybe she feels like she's missed out on somethng and is hoping to check it out..? That's always the trap.

When your reaction is one out of pain to something your wife has done or not done, you are giving her the power to control your emotions with her behavior.

You can only be responsible for you. If there is some financial help you feel she should contribute, ask her to do it. If she refuses, tell her you don't feel she is being fair, then do what you have to do for you.

Until she truly wants to do some work and not put you through your paces, you need to be careful to only help when you want to help and to not help when you shouldn't. Wanting to be around her is not a good reason to help her. It just leads to further expectations on your part.