I hope I'm posting this in the right forum. I'm just looking for some advice - and please, nobody be rude in their response.

I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 17. We got married 8 years later, in 1997, and in January we just had our first baby. Our marriage was never perfect - he cheated on me (and I forgave him because he was honest about it). Then I cheated on him, and eventually I told him even though he STILL brings it up when we argue even though it was over 2 years ago.

That's the first problem - he won't let it go. The second problem is the baby. My husband works second shift so he doesn't see the baby during the week. Even though he works from 2-10, I take the baby to my parents in the morning before I go to work and they watch him all day. When my husband comes home the baby is sleeping. I've asked my husband before if he wanted to watch the baby until he had to go to work (so he could spend some time with him) but he always tells me that he needs to sleep and he doesn't know how to take care of a baby.

So you'd think that he'd want to spend some time on the weekends with the baby but when I ask him if he can watch the baby for a couple hours--or even so I can take a shower--he acts like it's a big burden. Now, he DOES spend some time with the baby but only a few minutes here and there. I know he loves him - he's just waiting for him to get older. In the meantime though, he doesn't have to "ignore" him. I can't get him to understand. He never wants to take the baby anywhere because he's afraid he's gonna cry and cause a scene.

Also, he goes out drinking EVERY weekend. He's already had TWO DWIs so you'd think that he would stop driving around. NO!! EVERY WEEKEND he goes out and stays out til 3 a.m. I'm getting so sick of it. Every weekend he promises me he'll stop but then come the next weekend "well I have to work all week" blah blah blah and it all starts over again.

I really can't take much more. I don't even know if I love him anymore -- he always wonders why I don't want to have sex or "get into it" -- hmm, let me think.

We've talked about this TO DEATH. We've discussed everything there is to discuss yet nothing changes. I've told him if he would stop drinking and spend more time with his son things would greatly improve...but he doesn't stop drinking!!

HE IS SO IMMATURE in every way!!!

I would leave him but I don't want out son to grow up without a father...but then again, what kind of father is he growing up with?!

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Fedup,

You both cheated, you got over it, he didn't get over it, maybe he wounder's how it was so easy for you to get over it, and maybe he think's about how much more will he have to get over.

As far as the baby, he is wrong, I would never let someone else raise my children, he is being direspectful of your parent's, of you, and of his own child, it has nothing to do with the age of the child, if he doesn't build a bond with his child, it will only get harder the older the child get's.

I did find it kinda strange that you only refered to your child as,the baby, what is it, B or G?

You say nothing ever change's, actualy it does, men dont want anything to change after there M, women change after there M, and change alot after they have children, you want him to change, and he doesn't like the change's, arguement will not settle anything, as you already know. You cant force him to change, but you can change yourself, and as he see's you changing he might start changing himself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />