My husband of eight years is constantly making unreasonable demands, yelling at me until I am just overwhelmed by his anger, name calling and threats (to leave me and our son). If I try to leave the house to escape his angry outburst, he will block the doors with his body and dare me to make a move. Other times, I have become so frightened, that I am on the ground shaking and crying uncontrollable and have actually lost bladder control. After being forced to listen to his tirades for hours, I am unable to go to work because I can’t stop shaking or crying.
After his outbursts which he sometimes blames me for everything bad in his life, even things that happened years before I met him, he will turn around and then act like nothing happened. He is outraged sometimes if I watch a TV program or smile at his family members or my own. He has on several occasions blown up at me and stopped speaking to me for days because I laughed with his sister. He says that I need to put that effort into him and our relationship. I spend so much time and effort doing things for and with him but he is never pleased or even grateful. I readily admit when I am right and wrong but I don't see myself as his downfall. He got angry with me and told our four year old son, “ You better hope that it never comes down between you and an Aunt or you (my son) will lose out. Your Mommy will not do anything for you.”
He talks constantly of his problems and my role in causing them. For hours at a time and demands that I don't say one word. I was assaulted 3 years ago and he never wants to talk about that or any of my needs. This weekend was the final straw for me. He once again began his tirade against me and did it in front of our son. He then told me that I could not leave the room that I was in and stood in the doorway to block my exit. He dared me to try and push past him and steadily blocked every move I made to leave the room by pushing me back with his chest and arms. Finally I had to call 911 in order to be able to move freely within my own home. The police said that since he did not hit me, they could do nothing. Now he is calling me at work, yelling at me for calling 911. He readily admits what he did but says that I was wrong to call the police.
Is he crazy or am I just a no good, unfeeling, lazy evil woman? I am so depressed and always afraid to go home and face the music. His attacks are more frequent and I don't want to expose my son to them anymore. He is fearful of his father and excited whenever he goes away on business.
I have to make a change and need some advice on figuring out what to do next. And learning to believe that I am not Satan as he would have me believe. Now I do believe that I am fairly worthless.

Booboo, I'm sorry that no one has responded to your post before now, but that is likely because this topic is not very active. Try the "Emotional Needs" topic or "General Discussion" topic for better response.

From what you say, your H definitely sounds abusive.

Check out the information on Zorweb's Post on Abuse to get information.

Your H sounds like a ticking time bomb to me, and I worry about him really hurting you physically. He is already creating enormous damage to your self-esteem.

Also, check out DV Safety Plan and Stuff for information on how to get out of the situation safely.

<small>[ September 10, 2002, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Lady Clueless ]</small>

I agree with Lady Clueless, you need to go to Zorweb's post on abuse and read all you can. This man is dangerous to you and your son. Please get professional help immediately. The police may not be able to act before an assalut has occured, but a local women's shelter will help you. Do you have any family that you can stay with?

Sorry, I don't have any personal experience in this area but I did not want to ignore your post, it is a plea that cannot go unanswered.

Prayers to you and your son. Ladysing