Sactified,
There is not magic bullet. You cannot make one dramatic gesture and everything will be better. You do it over time. How you can you help her trust you again?
1. Always be honest in the future. This means not only telling her the truth, but not hiding anything she would want to know.
2. If you were viewing porn on-line, put a spying software on the computer and show her how to use it. Give her all your passwords to the computer. Show her how to access files on the computer. Then tell her she can check up on you whenever she wants.
3. She cannot see into your heart, but you can share your heart with her. Talk to her honestly. Whenever you think about porn, tell her and tell her that you love her more than to look at it again.
Ironically, she may feel more trust in you if you share your downfalls. It makes you seem more human. If you tell her that you gave it up 'cold turkey' and that you never even think about it anymore, she probably won't believe you. Because that's not how most people behave. So tell her when you think about porn, and then tell her how much pain it causes you because you associate it with causing her pain.
The healing process will not be quick. It will take a little while. In the meantime show her how committed you are to the relationship. Read some of the information here regarding Emotional Needs and Love Busters. Take the quizzes with your wife. Over time you will both regain trust and love.
April
