Hi, just taking a poll here, could use the input.

Those of you in "blended families" and those that arn't; Should Dad pay for the expenses of all children equally or just his? And to what degree?

Is it "love me, love my kids" or is it "they are your problem, you pay for them?"

Assume that Ex H has never given any support to the kids. New H says that he should not have to support kids other than his. And he means basic needs as well as violin lessons. Should mom pay for 100% of food, room/board, medical ins, etc for "her" kids and 1/2 for their kids?

What is normal? What would you do, dads under this circumstance? What would you expect, Moms, under these circumstances?

Thanks!!

Not sure if I am in the typical situation that you are looking for here but technically I am a step dad to one of my two children. We are not the typical mixed family. I have been her main male role model since she was one year old. Her mom and biological father (the donor) were never married or serious. He has all but abondoned her. Once we were engaged I assumed financial responsibility (by choice) and never blinked an eye at it. Now many years later we do have another child but financially I spend as much on the older (step daughter) and think nothing of it. However, I am never referred to as the step dad or her the step daughter - other than a little DNA makeup I am her "father".

mom2be,
Personally I'd tell that new H to take a hike. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> How dare he.

I am an OW that has lived w/ her former MM (D in nov/2002) I have 3 kids. Two boys by my X and a D by someone else. I receive CS (almost $1,000)for all three. For the last year ,my second son has lived w/ his dad and visited here at Xmas and summer. My D's father has very little contact w/ her.

My D is an active girl involved in many activities as are my boys.

MM has 2 children - one by XW and 1 by a girl he lived w/ 11 years ago. He pays CS to both kids.

I am not ready to marry. However, I handle all the finances. MM gives me his entire check. I write the check fo CS, pay the bills, etc.

When I am out I shop for all the kids - mine and his. I buy clothes for his D and his son.

Money was tighter than usual at Xmas because I recently bought a house. It was my insistance that we spend more on his kids then we did on mine. My justification is simple - my kids have the benefit of us and our joint income 24/7. We do for them all the time.

When he first moved in MM asked me what W should expect in regards to help w/ their D. I calculated the support in excess of the current Ga guidelines. We also agreed to pay extra for a sitter till we found out she was spending the money on herself and forcing her older D to baby sit. I explained we should carry ins, pay for 50% of reasonable uncovered expenses, and buy some extras - clothes, toys, etc.

We are a team even if we are not married. I spend money on his kids and he spends his money on mine. We do not keep score. He refers to my kids as his. He has been in their life for almost 3 years. My D is now nine. She asked to call him daddy and we let her. My boys refer to him as a nickname.

Your H's attitide of his, yours, and ours is going to be a huge point of disagreement. It is best to get these issues resolved quickly. Maybe get him some literature on blended families. MM and I recently even took a parenting class together.

Good luck to you. tew