Hello,

WH and I have been supposedly been working on our marriage since d-day 11/02, yet every week or so I seem to find some little lie of omission he's made, either in recent past or present. When I ask him about it (and I choose my words carefully), he insists on asking me if I'm angry to the point where I get *REALLY* mad, then trying to play some kind of mental gymnastics ("Why are you doing this to ME?") to the point where I question whether or not he even wants to stay in the marriage. Then we stay up all night hashing it out, almost always ending with a "Oh, I guess we just misunderstood each other", he says he's sorry, wants sex, and goes to sleep (or work if it's a weekday).

I am trying to keep up but this is a total LB for me, and I don't see RH anywhere in the mix. He never offers any information on his own, I have to ask about or stumble across everything. BTW, I am NOT looking for this stuff, I find them doing everyday things.

So, you sage MB's, help me out: is this normal? Should I suspect something? Is the A not really over? Or am I overreacting and wrong about the whole thing? Looking forward to your responses.

Many thanks!

I think it's normal for you to not trust him. He had the A and you have to keep checking on him. If you've caught him lying then this doesn't fair well for what is going on. He doesn't want to talk about A or the past but there is a lot that needs to be addressed still if you can move forward in your M. What kinds of things is he lying about?

Check the policy of radical honesty on this site. It sounds if you're trusting your instincts and that he hasn't been upfront with you then this needs to be investigated. Spouses should never keep anything from each other that is relevant, important, etc.

It just keeps going...found out last night that all current contact info is still on the gaming site where WH met OW, and the account was still active. It was unused since d-day (11/02- at least no messages posted since then), but when I asked him about it, he got defensive and silent. He says he doesn't know how all the login info got cached on my computer; I never had his password. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> He posted a message to the webmaster asking for his profile to be removed, still not done as of this post. Later made veiled statements that he was going to hurt himself when I suggested trying Plan B- with me living in one of our outbuildings at night.

Took off in his car at 1 am, very angry and saying he would not return. I called police to track him down. He called me at 2 am, tried to keep him on the phone as long as possible. He got angry, hung up on me, but came home around 3 am. Police lectured him, then he talked for a while after they left. He asked my thoughts about things, and fell asleep while I told him. I took the baby and went to bed at 4:45 am. Up again at 6:45 am to feed animals. Going back to bed, maybe sleep if I can stop crying.

Please pray! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />