i have been married for almost 9 months and for the first three months i treated my wife more like a friend than my lifetime partner. i didnt think about her being in the picture as much as i thought about my own lifestyle before being married. i smoked pot, i cussed, i drank and i thought about myself before putting the love of my life first. id smoke pot thinking she wouldnt know or notice and then lie about it and get upset when i was confronted about it. one evening she stayed all night with her grandmother and i stayed at home and rented a dirty movie on tv and was caught after she opened the bill and oticed it. after lying about it i told her i just watched part of it and felt guilty and stopped, but after lying she doesnt believe me cause well i lied once and i could lie again. i set online after getting off work upto the early morning hours when i shoul have been in the bed with her. i admit these things ive done wrong, i apologized to her and she decided she was leaving me. now its been almost 7 months since i changed my life to be a better husband. i stopped drinking and smoking pot completely. i no longer cuss and yell but speak in a soft loving caring voice to her, i smile and enjoy life with her, i dont need to see a dirty movie. ive went out of my way to regain her trust to no avail. she doesnt trust me enough to work, shes afraid someone might want me or i might be attracted to someone else, she doesnt want to work cause she wouldnt know what i was doing. ive told her i married her cause i didnt need anyone else, cause i loved her, i tell her if she was at work id do nothing but miss and wait for her at the door. what can i do, what can i try, is this hopeless? please help me cause im beginning to feel as if maybe nothing i can do will help her see. im not asking her to forget, im asking for forgiveness and recovery. please help me.