Hi...I'm just now learning that I am disrespectful, demanding and angry a lot. I came home a few days ago to find all my husband's stuff gone and he's going to kuwait on a army deployment in a matter of days. He refuses to answer my calls or communicate in any way. He is my first love, my high school sweetheart and the love of my life. I dont want our marriage to end but he probably will file for divorce when he returns...which might be up to a year from now. I will have his mailing address. What can i do to convince him (yet again) but this time i'm really learning what i'm doing wrong....to not end our marriage? His walls are up and I need to get through.
anyone feel free to email me please!

Notaquitter,

I'm sorry about your situation, maybe this will help. You said he was deploying in a few days, find out when and where from the 1st sergeant. Try to see him off and tell him how you feel and that you want to work things out. If he is reluctant then send him mail (you said you have his address). I was in Desert Storm and everyone enjoyed getting mail.

Tell him how you feel and remind him of the good times ( it sounds like you've got a history together)and how you want to work together to make the future even better. Encourage him to write back so he will communicate and you'll have a better idea of what you are dealing with from his perspective.

Try to get a dialogue going, (some ares are allowing e-mail to the troops, see if your husband will have that option. The 1st shirt should know), I can't imagine he would stay bottled up the whole deployment and not want to discuss this with you.

Also, keep reading posts here because there are some great people here who can offer tips and insights that can help. Good luck and keep us posted.

thanks for your reply. I'm afraid there's not much I can do. His chain of command tried to get him to call me but he said his lawyer advised him not to talk to me. I dont know what to do. I have his address but would be devasted if i send him something and he sends it back unopened. I feel like for him it's just plain over and that's all there is to it. I dont know why he wont talk to me.
I wish someone had a magic wand and it could save my marriage because I still love him and always will
got any suggestions?

Hey Lady- you responded to one my post. It's blue violet! I hope you remember me.

My husband left and has said he feels God has asked him to. Well, he didn't just leave. We weren't providing for each other's emotional needs.

I know exactly what you are going through. I am learning how much I have hurt my husband. I know that if he came back that I could be a better wife.

I know it made me feel so much better to let my husband know exactly the way I was feeling. When I learned about my negative behavior, I shared with him the spiritual change that had taken place.It's peaceful to know that I have been honest with him. My friend said just this morning, "What have you got to lose?" He's already left. Let him know exactly the way you feel. Write him letters when he's away. Even if he doesn't read them it will help you feel better to have written down your feelings.

I want to recommend two books to you. Please read the praying wife by stormie omartin. I know that you praying for your husband (especially since he's so disagreable right now) can do wonders. I've seen answers to prayer myself in praying for mine. God can change your husband's heart. The name of the other book is why should I be the first to change, but I'll have to get back to you the author.

I want to get in contact with you more personally. I think that we could help each other out a lot! I have so much more that I could share with you; what I've learned about this over the last month. I just don't know how to use this MB site that well yet. I don't know how to obtain your email address to email you.

In the next year as you wait for your husband's return there is so much that you can do for yourself in that time. You can better yourself through God. My friend also said this morning, "Become the woman that God has called you to be." "Find something that gives you complete joy," my wise friend also said. I know it's hard. I'm in this valley with you. I will be praing for you!
Sorry if my thoughts are so incomplete. I hope that I was of some spiritual help to you. My thoughts are partly so incomplet because I'm hoping that our paths cross again and that we can become email buddies. I am so bubbling over with thoughts that I want to share with you. Until then- bv