My husband of over 18 years recently left me (seemingly out of the blue). He came back a few days ago, and we both feel after reading the info on this site that our problems are surmountable with one exception: my parents. He feels they are invasive and manipulative and that they don't care for him. It's true they've never liked him much and are not the kind of people who ever give much praise (to anyone, including me), but he is threatening to leave again if they won't apologize for their past behavior and promise not to interfere. I have told him that they don't sway me and that he should be able to trust me, and he says he does but that he won't stay unless he gets this apology right now. I don't like to guess what others are thinking or will do, but I'm fairly certain they will not be willing to apologize--they didn't want me to take him back. I really need some help here; I don't want to lose him and don't know what else I can do.

hi ks, sorry about your situation. My in laws have caused major problems in our M, along with my H inability to stand up to them. They never accepted or liked me simply because i was taking away their son. I was continually upset that mother in law was always priority, even when i nearly died after an op, MIL wishes came first. Slowly, resentment built up, and i got angry at H for not caring about my feelings. It took a crisis (Hs affair) for H to realise that his priorities were wrong. Now, together, we confronted his parents and made it clear that we will not be treated badly or controlled again. I would love an appology from MIL due to her ill treatment of me, but there is no point as she feels shes done nothing wrong. I cannot change her, all i can do is demand that H sticks to our agreement. Have you stuck up for your H? Have you tried MC? did you constantly argue about your parents? good luck, ad x

ks, forgot to mention a helpful book, TOXIC IN LAWS by susan forward. she also wrote TOXIC PARENTS. Some great coping stratergies in there.