<small>[ July 08, 2003, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: avonleajules ]</small>

I have a question, do you want to work or do you want to be a stay at home mother who homeschools her children?

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: avonleajules ]</small>

Hello Avonleajules,

And welcome to MB. This is a pretty good place but beware of some of the responces you may get. Some of the people can get pretty fierce when people vent about wanting kids. Just take any negative response with a grain of salt. This is just a posting board and it is great for insight, but the final work will be between you and your husband and what y'all decide.

Is your husband hesitant about kiddos because of finances? outside influences such as friends? differing views on religion or child-rearing? What I saw when I read your post was that you are still relatively newly weds and that you are ready to start a family due to circumstances. Maybe your husband is hesitant because of the commitment and time requirement involved or how it'll affect your relationship. Has he ever discussed it with you?

As my name implies, I'm on the road alot and post sporadically but if I can be of any help, just holler and hang on. You may also want to try to get a hold of NGU (Not Giving Up, she is here and up on emotional needs)& jac07 for additional support. For insight on the other position check with My Alias, his wife wants more but he doesn't. If you need to vent helpful posters to help you stay focussed are kam6318, star*fish, Dan-0 and zorweb,to name a few (they are also on emotional needs).

I'm in your position regarding kids, I want more and it's my wife that doesn't. We just have a few other hurdles to overcome before we approach that topic again. But I am still hoping.

DT

P.S. I learned that infidelity is probably the biggest issue at this site, but it is not a requirement to be here. It doesn't apply to my marriage or alot of others here. People here are more than happy to offer help if thay can. Good Luck.

Hello Avonleajules,

I've posted on this BBS for the same subject as you've posted here, except in my situation we already have children and I don't want more. I can't put any similuations from my situation to yours so I won't try.

What I would say is be patient. Don't push or try to manipulate. Some personalities will feel pressured and will actually do the opposite so they don't feel they were pushed into a decision.

What I would suggest is use the time you have with your nephew to show your H how wonderful children are. If your H is willing to listen, share some of the experiences you have with your nephew. Don't come acrossed as pushing the idea of children, just let him see how much fun you are having with the child. In time your H may realize how great it would be to have a child of his own to share some of those same experiences with.

Remember it is very important that both you and your H are in a position where you both want to have a child. Just because the time is right for you doesn't mean it is right for him. Instead of setting dates when your going to have kids, maybe discuss with your H what it is he wants in place before he's ready for children. I know I like to procrastinate and don't like feeling pressured into having deadlines.

There is no greater feeling between a man and a woman than knowing that love-making is for the purpose of making a child. So make sure you're both ready and you will look back on that experience as the start of one of a most wonderful experiences in your life.

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 10:57 AM: Message edited by: avonleajules ]</small>

<small>[ July 08, 2003, 10:58 AM: Message edited by: avonleajules ]</small>